20 August 2008

I fell in love on the 4th of July: Part 2

It's about time I finished this story... So, we left off with me getting the epidural and feeling pretty darn great and about to drift off for a good nights rest. Wrong. I tried to rest but after a little while the nurse came in and informed me that I needed to adjust my position as the epidural works by gravity and I can't stay in one position for very long. My left leg was getting really numb. Great, so I am going to have to switch position every 30 minutes all night long, sounds restful! I tried to get rest in between, but after a while she was coming in an awful lot to move me. I have to say, I was pretty out of it all night and it was a big blur, but here's basically what happened. At some point the baby's heart rate started decelerating and my blood pressure was dropping and setting off the alarm. The nurse kept coming in and moving my position, studying the charts keeping track of the baby's heart rate and adjusting my pitocin.  Laying on my left side wasn't good for the baby, so I had to avoid that side.  There was one time that I actually fell asleep for a few minutes and was woken up (of course) to move. So, I basically got no sleep all night long. The nurse also had to turn down the pitocin because that seemed to be aggravating the baby and making his heart rate drop. I was also given an oxygen mask to wear at some point too to give more oxygen to the baby. Now, this all sounds really scary, but as I said, I was out of it and didn't really feel worried or anything. I think back and wonder why I wasn't freaking out! My mom was really worried and was asking the nurse all kinds of questions about why the heart rate was dropping - was the cord compressed? She didn't really answer - probably because she didn't know. The doctor was apparently sleeping and she just closely monitored me all night trying to keep labor moving along and keeping everyone safe.

By 5am or so after an entire night of the same changing position, oxygen and very slow progress, I was finally dilated to 8cm. As time went on, I could start to feel the contractions again, just a lot of pressure down there which was a good sign I guess, but didn't feel that great! The doctors were changing shift at 8am, and the new doctor was Dr. Martin who is a great doctor and really super nice - I really like him. He came in shortly after 8am and checked me again and I was dilated to... 8cm. Still. He sat on the bed and said he knows we probably don't want to hear this, but he recommends we do a c-section.  I had been stuck at 8cm for 3 hours, the baby was not progressing and further down the birth canal, and it was going on 20 hours since my water broke. He left us alone to talk it over and decide, although it didn't seem like we had a choice. I burst into tears of course. I was completely exhausted and even though I was still numb, my whole body felt sore. We agreed that we had to go through with it and when the doc came back in, gave him the ok. He said he would assemble a team right away. Within minutes there was a flurry of activity in my room. A nurse came in to shave me, the anesthesiologist came in to add medicine to my epidural and Rudy had to suit up in a crazy getup to go into the OR with me. My mom couldn't come into the OR also, so had to go out to the waiting room alone. 

In no time, they were wheeling me down the hall and I suddenly was extremely nervous. My mom started to cry walking down the hall, I felt so bad for her having to go out to the waiting room for who knows how long all by herself. I told her to not cry, I would be ok. My nurse was back from the day before and was wheeling me down the hall and started singing Madonna songs with me. I must have sounded like a drunken sailor slurring the words to Madonna - I was feeling pretty groggy, but I didn't care! She was really sweet doing that to get my mind off the impending surgery.  I had to go into the OR by myself while they prepped me and Rudy would join me when they were ready. I was feeling really, really nervous now. I have had surgery several times before, but never awake! What if the drugs didn't work? What if it hurt? Yikes! They gave me lots of drugs and in no time I couldn't feel anything between my boobs and toes. Rudy came in and they started. A few minutes into it, Rudy stood up, he wanted to watch! Yuck! He asked the doc if he could and he said yes, but the anesthesiologist wanted Rudy to sit down! A few minutes later I felt like my body was moving around, but no pain. In no time I heard a baby crying! The doctor said he was a big boy and the cord was around his neck, and the cord was short.  Maddox was born at 9:02am!! A nurse showed him to me for like a millisecond, then Rudy went over to where they were taking care of the baby.

The next hour was really hard. I didn't get to hold my baby, I hardly saw him and I had to lay there while they sewed me up. Rudy came back a little while later and showed him to me and I got to kiss his little face, but then they sent him to the recovery room. During the next 30 minutes or so, I felt like crap! I was shivering and cold and my heart was pounding so hard, I thought I was dying. I told the doctor this, but felt better soon after thank goodness. I don't remember much of this time to be honest, I was really tired and groggy. The drugs in the epidural do make you feel out of it if you ask me. I do recall my nurse scrubbing me all up to wash off all the betadine, she said she was sorry if it hurt, but I would thank her later because it is hard to wash off. I finally made it to recovery and Rudy set Maddox on my chest and I just hugged him and kissed him, I was so happy!!! I did get to breastfeed in the recovery room - it was hard, I was very groggy, had a hard time focusing my eyes and my boobs were numb!! But, he latched on right away and ate for a little while. They finally wheeled me up to my room and Rudy went to find my mom. I breastfed him again, then everyone left to go home and get some sleep and left me to get some sleep. It was probably noon by then. 

Rudy came back at 3pm or so with 2 dozen gorgeous yellow roses and big brother Jackson who got to meet his new little brother for the first time. We decided that Rudy should go back home and sleep that night at home so he could get some good rest as he hadn't slept in two days. That night, I started trying to sleep around 7pm and the baby went to the nursery. If you are tired, I highly recommend doing this. It was still really hard to sleep - I was hooked up to all these crazy contraptions. My bed changed position every so often, I had these blow up leg massagers on my legs that were massaging my legs all night and an IV pump that made a lot of noise. I managed to doze off in between feedings, but it was hard! The nurse brought Maddox back to me to eat every 3 hours or so. I really looked forward to seeing him even though I was really tired and didn't mind at all when they woke me up. I fed him around 10pm that night and as it was the 4th of July, we could hear the fireworks going off outside. The nurse opened my blinds and lo and behold, I could see the fireworks out my window!! The hospital is right next to the park where they shoot off the fireworks in Naperville. There was a building in the way, but I could see the edges of the fireworks. The nurse left us alone to cuddle and we watched the fireworks together. It was a really surreal, but special moment that I will never forget!! I finally was alone with my baby for the first time and that was when I literally fell in love with him. I have never been happier and am the luckiest mama! Welcome to the world Baby Maddox, I love you!!

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