22 December 2008

Christmas baby

Here are some pics I took for our Christmas cards which I am really hoping to get in the mail today. ;D Maddox can almost sit up on his own - for a few seconds or longer. He is growing up so fast!!! I am not ready for him to start moving around - crawling or walking. He can scoot around on his belly a little - in circles anyway and can roll from belly to front. He is using his hands like crazy now - he grabs at everything and can hold onto stuff pretty good. He seems to really like electronic things like the remote or the phone. He also loves to sit in my lap while I am at my laptop and bang his hands on the keyboard. We need to find him his own Mac! I really wish I could find him a stuffed or fake iphone, that would be awesome! 

We went to Berlin Christmas this weekend in Michigan and Maddox got to meet all his great aunts and uncles and cousins. It was a great time, except for the blizzard we had to drive home in! We made it home safely and are looking forward to a quiet Christmas at home.

03 December 2008

Christmas cousins

Mamie and Papa finally get to hold all their grandbabies at once! From left we have Tyler (5 months), Maddox (5 months), Scarlett (2.5 years) and Evangeline (8 months).

Here are the cousins all together! It was next to impossible to get them to all smile at once!
Here's Maddox with his new best cousin friend Tyler! They are only 2 days apart. Tyler lives in Mexico though, the lucky dog. We will have to visit often!

Maddox finally got to meet all his cousins!! Maddox and I traveled down to Austin, TX (yes, alone) to celebrate Thanksgiving and an early Christmas with the fam! Beau and Tiffany and their babies were visiting so I had to fly down there so we could all be together at once. It was a mad house! It was pretty crazy all of us staying together in one house. We were exhausted (and sick again) when we came home. Well, I was deathly ill, Maddox has only suffered a runny nose and now a minor ear infection, poor little guy! 
Maddox is a little chunk. He is a bit fatter than his cousin Tyler who was born 2 days after him, and is heavier than Evangeline who is 3 months older! I like him chubby though, there is more to hug and kiss and squeeze and love! 
We are headed to Orlando this weekend for my company Holiday party and are planning to take Maddox to Disney World. He won't remember, but since we are already going there we figured it would be entertaining for him anyway. I can't wait to escape this wintry weather! 

05 November 2008

4 months old and YAY for Obama!!!

We celebrated Obama's victory and Maddox's 4 month milestone all at once! Our little guy is Mr. Patriotic - he was born on the 4th of July and he wouldn't go to sleep last night until he was sure Obama had secured his victory! He is weighing in at about 18 pounds now - it is getting harder to lug the carseat around! I am so proud of him though - he is a little cutie and a very good boy. He is "talking" more and more and has the cutest little laugh. He also loves to scratch his head and pull on his own hair (as well as mine). I am hoping to catch some of these cute things on video soon to share with you. His hair is as wild as ever as you can see below, but I really don't want to cut it! It is getting long on top and is hard to style, it just won't lay down right. He is able to push up his chest now during tummy time and has rolled over a few times. He loves to "stand" in your lap too and thinks it is so funny. He also found his feet last week - he loves to grab them and try to stick them in his mouth. They are just as good to suck on as his hands apparently. He really thinks it's funny when we stick his toes in his mouth and make a funny sound. We love trying to find new things that make him laugh - these little things are so wonderful!! I have a lot more photos I would like to share - I'll post some more soon...

24 October 2008

Silly faces!

Maddox has a very expressive face I think. Maybe most parents think this, but oh well. I just love all the looks he gives me! He has also started to stick his tongue out occasionally like his uncle Aaron. He is doing it in this photo with the sushi bib and giraffe. Maybe he is hungry for sushi! And doesn't he just look like a little man in his groovy bowling shirt? So frickin' cute! I love my tiny man so much! By the way, I weighed him on our scale today just to see where he is at and he weighs 17.8 pounds! What a chubby bub!

21 October 2008

Pediatric Cardiologist gives the all clear. Whew.

We took Maddox to the pediatric cardiologist yesterday because the pediatrician has heard a heart murmur since around week 2. They did an EKG and an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart) and he says he is just fine! YAY!!!! We were a little worried and it is so good to hear that he is fine. It is just a functional murmur, which means it is just an extra sound they hear with no problem causing it. Babies sometimes have them because their hearts are close to the chest wall or something. I am just glad he doesn't have a hole in his heart or a problem with one of the valves.  He is also growing good and a very chubby happy baby! He is kind of a sweaty baby which was another reason we wanted him evaluated by the heart doc. He said that is not because of his heart. That is usually an indication of congestive heart failure, which he obviously doesn't have. I have read online that it is common for babies to be a little sweaty - they can't quite regulate their body temperatures exactly right yet. We are very grateful and glad that our little guy is all right. 

15 October 2008

5 pounds of taco bell and my hair

So, what's new you're wondering? Well, for starters, I've got about 5 pounds of taco bell left to work off. It is frustrating to not be able to fit into all my clothes so I have been trying to lose weight since about 6 weeks post partum. I started running and ran every day for almost 2 weeks. Then, my knees really started to hurt so I stopped. Since then I've probably run more like once a week, which isn't enough of course. I've done a little pilates here and there, but nothing consistent. It is really hard to diet too when you are breastfeeding, I am so hungry for sugar! But, I have lost some weight which I am very happy about, but have a little ways to go to be happy with myself. My body is slightly different than it used to be so I want be lighter than I was before I got prego because of how things are just sagging a little more.

Ok, that's enough about that!

My hair started falling out about a week or two ago. I heard that happens a few months after giving birth. It is just really annoying to have hair all over my clothes and on the baby and on the floor and on the counters and on the bed and on my Mac. Maybe I should just chop all my hair off! NO! I am not going to do that. I do need to get a trim and get my hair highlighted, my hair just looks really nappy right now. ;D I just sound so pretty don't I? Being a mother is really hard on your body!

Maddox is doing just great! He loves going to day care. My day care provider Carrie has a 13 month old daughter, Sadie, and she is just a little cutie pie. Maddox loves to watch her play and I am sure they will become good little playmates. He probably likes it over there better than at home because she has so many toys to play with and I have practically none! He is 3.5 months old and mom is already boring! I did put together the activity center by Baby Einstein and sat him in it - he just started beaming at me because I was sitting on the floor next to him and we were at the same level. He can sit for a while in his bumbo chair now too and look around and play a little. He is just so darn cute, I can't stand it!!!! I am adjusting to being back at work all right. I miss him during the day and pumping kind of sucks, but it's going ok. I really look forward to seeing him at the end of the day and work days are kind of short on the quality time with him. He is hungry and sleepy when I get home so time with each other is short. But so far so good.

04 October 2008

New look!

I finally came up with a new header for Maddox's blog! I wish I had more time to really rearrange everything and do something even better, but I don't. But, I am happy enough with this! Now the blog has boy colors and Maddox's owl. This blog is now about him, so might as well say that! I just love the little owl I drew - this was on his announcements too. Although I do have a couple of owls in his room, it wasn't really the main theme of his room. But, when he was born whenever he cried he hooted like a little baby owl - it was so sad, but so cute. So, now the owls really remind me of him. He is actually wearing a shirt today with an owl on it that we got at Old Navy. So cute! I'll have to take some pictures. He is three months old today, so I will be taking some new video and pics this weekend to mark the occasion. Maybe later after I get out of my pajamas though. :-D

30 September 2008

I miss my baby...

He is in day care for the first time today and doing fine, but I am not! I really miss him! I am working at home today and it is just dragging by. Only 2 more hours...

28 September 2008

12 weeks old and back to work

Here's some pics from the last few weeks. The first one is Maddox after he got his vaccinations. He was a trouper - we both cried, but he was fine afterwards. He got three shots in his big chubby thighs, hence the 3 band-aids!
Here's poppa, mama and maddox all out for a walk.

Tomorrow is my first day back to work. Sniff. :-( I am lucky to be able to work at home tomorrow and Tuesday though, so that will definitely ease the transition.  Tomorrow Maddox will be home with his daddy while Mommy works at home! I am going to try to pump all day and have Daddy feed him the bottle. At least I get to see him all day whenever I want to. He will go to day care all day on Tuesday even though I am working at home. I will take him over there in the morning and then probably drive down to the train station to see how the morning commute is going to be so I have the timing right and don't miss the train.

I am very conflicted about going back to work. On the one hand it will be nice to have a break from holding my baby all day - sometimes it is hard to be mommy all day every day and pay 100% attention to him. It will be good to get back into the work routine and back to normal life as I will know it now. But, I am going to miss my little guy so much! I am going to miss waking up together every morning and snuggling in bed all morning. I am going to miss feeding him all day long - I really love breastfeeding I have to say. It is such a warm fuzzy feeling to snuggle him and feed him. I love him so much! I am going to miss the way he smells and smiles and laughs at me. I am going to miss the way he kicks his legs all the time to get my attention. He is truly a ham and so fricking cute!!! But, every night and then of course Friday, Sat and Sunday he is all mine!!! I think this is going to be the hardest week yet of motherhood I have faced and I am not really looking forward to it. The last 3 months have been such a blessing and the best of my life. 

10 September 2008

Maddox's first feature film

Okay, so like, Mac's rule! I made this film using a simple digital camera and iMovie on my Mac. So fricking easy it isn't even funny! I hope you enjoy seeing my little boy on film! This makes me cry when I watch it for some reason, I'm such a sap. 

07 September 2008

2 months old!

Maddox is 2 months old and loves his monkey!

Here he is in his big boy pants!
Oooh, a cute little naked butt!
Look at me, I can pick up my own head!!

What a little cutie tootie if I do say so myself. For the last 2 weeks or so he has been sleeping longer at night - 7 hour stretches! I would say that is sleeping through the night darnit! I am not so sure how that is supposed to work with breastfeeding though, my boobs are so full when he finally wakes up, yikes. He is also looking around more and more and of course smiling more and more. His crazy hair gets lots of comments from people everywhere - that is usually the first thing people say "look at all that hair!". I swear I comb it down when it is wet, but it just pops back up. he is getting stronger and stronger and can lift his head up pretty high during tummy time, if only for a moment. In fact, one day last week - he lifted his head so high and kicked his foot at the same time, that he ROLLED OVER!! Whoohoo!!!! That was last Tuesday, but he hasn't done it since, so maybe just a lucky roll, hee hee. I have to go back to work in three weeks and I can't believe it is already getting so close, I am going to be so sad to have to leave him all day. I haven't been separated from him for more than 2 hours so far, so I am going to have major separation anxiety. I hope he adjusts easier than me to being with his new daycare momma, "miss carrie". I don't want to think about that just yet though. Sniff sniff.

26 August 2008

7 weeks old!

I have been going hog wild taking lots of pics of the little guy with my new camera. I still haven't made it off the automatic setting, but I need to do some homework or take a class so I can go to the next level in my photography skills. But, these pics look pretty good anyway! What a darn cutie he is!! Of course I think that, I am his mother! 

He still isn't sleeping through the night, actually we've gone from sleeping for a good 4-5 hour stretch back to 3 hours at the most. Oh well, we will get on a good schedule eventually! I don't mind, he is such a joy! I can't believe I have less than 5 weeks left of my maternity leave, it really goes by fast and I am trying to enjoy every minute. But, I am already thinking about going back to work and it is making me very anxious. I know it will be alright, but I am going to miss him so much!! I am not that keen on the idea that someone other than me is going to be taking care of him so soon, but what can you do? He is only going to be in day care 3 days a week, so it won't be that bad. But, they will be long days because Daddy and me have long commutes to work. We are going to have to do something about that sometime. Anyway, I am going down to a 4 day work week and Rudy is working 4 10 hour days so he gets to be with his daddy on Monday and mommy on Fridays. 

I can't believe the summer is almost over too!! Jackson is back in school and is a junior this year! Time is just flying by. I don't have a newborn anymore either, he is almost two months old and is doing more and more every day. He can lift his head up pretty good when he is on his tummy during tummy time. One day he just picked up his head and started looking around! I was shocked! He could lift it a tiny bit, but then all of a sudden he can lift it almost 90 degrees! What a strong little boy he is! We are working on rolling over now - he needs lots of time on his tummy for exercise and get strong enough to roll over. I hope it happens soon, I am sure I will get a picture of it to share with you! Oh, I almost forget to mention the most important thing - he smiles lots now!! It is a true social smile - he smiles back at mommy and daddy when we smile at him. That is the best thing ever!!

20 August 2008

I fell in love on the 4th of July: Part 2

It's about time I finished this story... So, we left off with me getting the epidural and feeling pretty darn great and about to drift off for a good nights rest. Wrong. I tried to rest but after a little while the nurse came in and informed me that I needed to adjust my position as the epidural works by gravity and I can't stay in one position for very long. My left leg was getting really numb. Great, so I am going to have to switch position every 30 minutes all night long, sounds restful! I tried to get rest in between, but after a while she was coming in an awful lot to move me. I have to say, I was pretty out of it all night and it was a big blur, but here's basically what happened. At some point the baby's heart rate started decelerating and my blood pressure was dropping and setting off the alarm. The nurse kept coming in and moving my position, studying the charts keeping track of the baby's heart rate and adjusting my pitocin.  Laying on my left side wasn't good for the baby, so I had to avoid that side.  There was one time that I actually fell asleep for a few minutes and was woken up (of course) to move. So, I basically got no sleep all night long. The nurse also had to turn down the pitocin because that seemed to be aggravating the baby and making his heart rate drop. I was also given an oxygen mask to wear at some point too to give more oxygen to the baby. Now, this all sounds really scary, but as I said, I was out of it and didn't really feel worried or anything. I think back and wonder why I wasn't freaking out! My mom was really worried and was asking the nurse all kinds of questions about why the heart rate was dropping - was the cord compressed? She didn't really answer - probably because she didn't know. The doctor was apparently sleeping and she just closely monitored me all night trying to keep labor moving along and keeping everyone safe.

By 5am or so after an entire night of the same changing position, oxygen and very slow progress, I was finally dilated to 8cm. As time went on, I could start to feel the contractions again, just a lot of pressure down there which was a good sign I guess, but didn't feel that great! The doctors were changing shift at 8am, and the new doctor was Dr. Martin who is a great doctor and really super nice - I really like him. He came in shortly after 8am and checked me again and I was dilated to... 8cm. Still. He sat on the bed and said he knows we probably don't want to hear this, but he recommends we do a c-section.  I had been stuck at 8cm for 3 hours, the baby was not progressing and further down the birth canal, and it was going on 20 hours since my water broke. He left us alone to talk it over and decide, although it didn't seem like we had a choice. I burst into tears of course. I was completely exhausted and even though I was still numb, my whole body felt sore. We agreed that we had to go through with it and when the doc came back in, gave him the ok. He said he would assemble a team right away. Within minutes there was a flurry of activity in my room. A nurse came in to shave me, the anesthesiologist came in to add medicine to my epidural and Rudy had to suit up in a crazy getup to go into the OR with me. My mom couldn't come into the OR also, so had to go out to the waiting room alone. 

In no time, they were wheeling me down the hall and I suddenly was extremely nervous. My mom started to cry walking down the hall, I felt so bad for her having to go out to the waiting room for who knows how long all by herself. I told her to not cry, I would be ok. My nurse was back from the day before and was wheeling me down the hall and started singing Madonna songs with me. I must have sounded like a drunken sailor slurring the words to Madonna - I was feeling pretty groggy, but I didn't care! She was really sweet doing that to get my mind off the impending surgery.  I had to go into the OR by myself while they prepped me and Rudy would join me when they were ready. I was feeling really, really nervous now. I have had surgery several times before, but never awake! What if the drugs didn't work? What if it hurt? Yikes! They gave me lots of drugs and in no time I couldn't feel anything between my boobs and toes. Rudy came in and they started. A few minutes into it, Rudy stood up, he wanted to watch! Yuck! He asked the doc if he could and he said yes, but the anesthesiologist wanted Rudy to sit down! A few minutes later I felt like my body was moving around, but no pain. In no time I heard a baby crying! The doctor said he was a big boy and the cord was around his neck, and the cord was short.  Maddox was born at 9:02am!! A nurse showed him to me for like a millisecond, then Rudy went over to where they were taking care of the baby.

The next hour was really hard. I didn't get to hold my baby, I hardly saw him and I had to lay there while they sewed me up. Rudy came back a little while later and showed him to me and I got to kiss his little face, but then they sent him to the recovery room. During the next 30 minutes or so, I felt like crap! I was shivering and cold and my heart was pounding so hard, I thought I was dying. I told the doctor this, but felt better soon after thank goodness. I don't remember much of this time to be honest, I was really tired and groggy. The drugs in the epidural do make you feel out of it if you ask me. I do recall my nurse scrubbing me all up to wash off all the betadine, she said she was sorry if it hurt, but I would thank her later because it is hard to wash off. I finally made it to recovery and Rudy set Maddox on my chest and I just hugged him and kissed him, I was so happy!!! I did get to breastfeed in the recovery room - it was hard, I was very groggy, had a hard time focusing my eyes and my boobs were numb!! But, he latched on right away and ate for a little while. They finally wheeled me up to my room and Rudy went to find my mom. I breastfed him again, then everyone left to go home and get some sleep and left me to get some sleep. It was probably noon by then. 

Rudy came back at 3pm or so with 2 dozen gorgeous yellow roses and big brother Jackson who got to meet his new little brother for the first time. We decided that Rudy should go back home and sleep that night at home so he could get some good rest as he hadn't slept in two days. That night, I started trying to sleep around 7pm and the baby went to the nursery. If you are tired, I highly recommend doing this. It was still really hard to sleep - I was hooked up to all these crazy contraptions. My bed changed position every so often, I had these blow up leg massagers on my legs that were massaging my legs all night and an IV pump that made a lot of noise. I managed to doze off in between feedings, but it was hard! The nurse brought Maddox back to me to eat every 3 hours or so. I really looked forward to seeing him even though I was really tired and didn't mind at all when they woke me up. I fed him around 10pm that night and as it was the 4th of July, we could hear the fireworks going off outside. The nurse opened my blinds and lo and behold, I could see the fireworks out my window!! The hospital is right next to the park where they shoot off the fireworks in Naperville. There was a building in the way, but I could see the edges of the fireworks. The nurse left us alone to cuddle and we watched the fireworks together. It was a really surreal, but special moment that I will never forget!! I finally was alone with my baby for the first time and that was when I literally fell in love with him. I have never been happier and am the luckiest mama! Welcome to the world Baby Maddox, I love you!!

08 August 2008

10 lbs 8 oz and 22 inches long!

Baby Maddox is growing good! Actually he is in the 50th percentile, so average size/growth. Just right to me! He is looking chubbier and has actually grown out of the current diaper size of the seventh generation diapers. We are planning to switch to cloth diapers, but were waiting for him to be a little bigger to fit better into the one size bumgenius or happy heiny cloth diapers. Need to order more diapers though. I would like to try to at least do cloth part time - although I have to admit using the disposable is convenient, but I feel guilty! It will get spendy using the seventh generation diapers full time though I think, although I haven't really done any price shopping yet on diapers. 

Just in the last few days we have had some great milestones (I think). I pumped for the first time, although only got 1.5 oz out - it is hard because he wants to eat so often, when the heck am I supposed to pump? I need to get some advice from other moms on that one. But, daddy gave him his first bottle and he took it with no problem and drank it down in no time. 1. 5oz isn't enough and he was still hungry!! But, at least we know he will take a bottle. The pediatrician said we should keep doing it every once in a while so he won't reject them later. The other night I woke up around 4am to hear baby Maddox sucking away on his hand. He was perfectly content by himself in the cosleeper sucking away and kicking his little legs. I was like, whoopee!!! He is comforting himself!!! How cute!! Then I picked him up a little while later and fed him. But, he does pretty good by himself even when he wakes up in the middle of the night. During the day when he wakes up alone in the crib or bouncer seat he is very upset, but at night he is fine. Wierd! But, at least he is sleeping longer and doing good on his own. He is sleeping with me less and less. I know, I know, not good to have him sleep with me, but you do what you gotta do to get by, trust me. I need to sleep too!

04 August 2008

1 month old!

Here's a photo I took of Maddox today with my new camera! Mommy is going to go crazy now taking photos with her new Nikon D60!
I swear I didn't photoshop this - Maddox says "peace"!
Here's a photo my Dad took last weekend - his hair was all cute and fluffy after his bath!

Maddie's first tub bath with Mamie and Mama! I can't remember exactly what day this was, but he likes taking tub baths way better than sponge baths!

I can't believe a whole month has gone by - my leave is 1/3 over! Sniff sniff! He is sleeping longer at night now - sometimes up to 5 hours at a stretch. He is also sleeping more in his cosleeper and less with Mommy. He smiles more often now and looks around and seems to be noticing the world a lot more. His hair is also getting longer - I think he is gonna need a haircut soon. I don't think I can bear to cut it though, I love his fluffy hair! He is also getting big - I take him to the doctor this week to get the official weight, but I weighed him on our scale at home and he is now over 10 lbs! He is gonna be a bruiser! He is filling out and his face and legs definitely seem chubbier. He sleeps pretty good in the car - the louder the music and bumpier the ride, the better. We are still breastfeeding 100% - but I am going to try pumping and introducing the bottle this week so Daddy can participate in feeding him. We'll see how that goes! So far, he is a really good baby and we love him to pieces!

30 July 2008

I fell in love on the 4th of July: Part 1

This is the story of the birth of Maddox. My mom arrived on Monday, June 30, and after I got her safely home from the airport I thought for sure I would go into labor that night or soon after. After that didn't happen, I was on a little mission to get this baby out. On Tuesday evening, Rudy made his old standby dinner - sauerkraut and kielbasa. It was yummy, but I knew it would give me indigestion and my digestive system was already backed up and when it did try to move, let me tell you it was painful! My doctor on Wednesday said I was still dilated to about 1 or 1.5 cm and so we scheduled the induction for the following week which was a relief, but I really didn't want to wait that long! So, that evening we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner and I chowed on some hot wings - lots of them thinking that would move things along. The caribbean jerk wings were hot and tasty, but no baby that night.

The next day it was Thursday, July 3rd, my actual due date, and I was working all morning at home trying to finish up a project. Around lunchtime I sent out all my files via email to the project team and went upstairs to take a shower. Rudy and I also thought we would try one other thing to get labor going and let's just say it did the trick. (Use your imagination, but don't think about it too long, hee hee!!) A short bit later as I was laying in bed, lo and behold, I felt and yes, actually heard this popping sensation, then a flood on the bed. I was in shock at first - oh my goodness, this is it! I couldn't believe it!! Rudy was there with me when it happened and he was shocked too at first. Then he kicked into "Mister organization" mode. "Here's a towel" he says, "I am going to take a shower and then finish packing up. You can shower then". Yea, we weren't completely packed and we had a lot to do! All I could think was I needed to send emails to people and grab this and that and oh yea, call the doctor! We were SO EXCITED!!!! I actually got in the shower first so I could relax and wash my hair and attempt to shave my legs. Ha ha, yea, I actually shaved my legs. And let me tell you, shaving your legs when 9 months pregnant takes forever and is really difficult!! Every time I moved around, more amniotic fluid would come out. It seemed like I was losing a lot and it made me nervous. I couldn't feel Maddie moving, so I was anxious to get to the hospital. Rudy called the doctor while I was in the shower and they said we were to come in pronto because of the rupture. We weren't going to rush right over there - we wanted to clean up and get all our stuff together. Rudy also called my mom who was at the grocery store with Jackson and told her, so she came home and said she would make us sandwiches because once we got to the hospital, they wouldn't let me eat or drink anything. She was right, from the moment I arrived, all they let me have were ice chips. 

So, my water broke around 1pm - by the time we showered, shaved, packed, ate and emailed, we got to the hospital and were in our room by 3pm. I did start having contractions shortly after my water broke, they were pretty minor though, nothing too painful, but pretty regular at 3-5 minutes apart. But, they were definitely different than the Braxton-Hicks I had been having. There was more pain in the groin area, like my entire pelvic floor was contracting rather than my tummy. We started writing them down and they were coming pretty close together - about 3-5 minutes apart, but very mild and not painful at all really.

We arrived at the hospital and did the valet parking and went right up to labor and delivery and were in a room by 3pm. My nurse, Theresa (who was so cool), did the little test to make sure my amniotic sac had indeed ruptured (and yes, it had - duhh, I was gushing so much fluid it was freaking me out). Dr. Weeks was the ob/gyn on call that day and he came by and he checked me and I was still only dilated to 1.5 cm or so. The plan was to let me contract on my own until 6pm and then start pitocin if I wasn't making a lot of progress. So, I got off my butt and we went on a couple walks around the halls to get the contractions going. At 6pm they started the pitocin. I was still contracting on my own, but they were still around 3-5 minutes apart but not much stronger. They slowed down when I layed down and they wanted to get the labor going since my water had broken. The contractions got stronger and stronger and we switched from the deep, slow breaths to the faster "hee hee hee, whoo" breaths. The contractions were starting to hurt pretty good! But, they were manageable. Around 9pm the doc came and checked me and I was dilated to 3cm. He asked me if I wanted the epidural and I say "oh yea"! Rudy thought I should wait a little longer, but I didn't really want to experience contractions much worse than the ones I was having, and looking back it was a good decision because I was exhausted by the time I had him that having to suffer through more pain would have worn me out even more.  I think I was very lucky in that I didn't experience really hard, painful contractions. But, I got a tiny taste of what contractions were like and knew I didn't want to experience any more pain! The anesthesiologist came in and I got to experience one of the more unpleasant experiences of the night. I had to pee and asked if I could go to the bathroom before he put the epidural in, but he was in a hurry and had to go do a c-section next so said he would leave if I went to the bathroom. He was not a very nice guy I have to say and he proved it when he stabbed me in the back with the first shot to numb my back. I wasn't ready for it and he just jabbed it in all of a sudden and I jumped. Then he shoved the catheter in and I could feel it go in and up, it was a very weird and very unsafe feeling to have someone jerking something into my spine. I had a really hard time staying still. I was holding onto the nurse for dear life. Rudy left the room and let my mom stay with me during because they only wanted one other person in the room, but she had to sit across the room and couldn't really do anything anyway. Once it was in, I had instant relief - I did have one contraction during but it wasn't too bad. The epidural made me feel a little woozy, relaxed and numb! I didn't feel any pain at all until the next morning.  I couldn't even tell anymore that I had to pee. About 30 mins later, the nurse came in and put a catheter in so I could "pee". I couldn't feel anything and settled in to take a nice snooze all night long. Little did I know that I wouldn't sleep a wink!

Baptized on Sunday!!

Our little angel baby was baptized this past Sunday at our Lutheran church. His big brother Jackson is his godfather and my best friend Marcy is his god mother. We did this so quickly because my parents were in town and wanted them to be a part of it. Also in attendance was Rudy's mama. It went beautifully and then we all went to Meson Sabika for brunch. We got to sit in the same spot we sat on our wedding day for our reception - under the canopy of a tree. The weather was just wonderful and the food and company was perfect. Welcome to God's family little baby Maddox! We all love you so much!

28 July 2008

My mommy left today...

And now I am on my own! I am going to be all alone with my baby tomorrow! I have to go back to see the doctor tomorrow too cuz my incision has been bothering me and isn't healing like it should - it is red and inflamed in two spots and in one spot it is oozing and bleeding a little. I hope everything is ok! I am going to have to take Maddie to the doc with me, should be a fun time!

Speaking of Maddie, he is just the sweetest baby and I love him sooooooooooo much. I burst into tears every once in a while just overwhelmed with how lucky I am and how much I love him. It actually hurts! I can't believe I waited this long (and it took this long) to become a mother. It is the best (and scariest) thing in the world and I want another one! I am listening to him sleep - he is making these cute little baby noises with every breath - he is a very noisy baby. He moans and almost hums in his sleep and when he is eating. He can be especially loud at 2am and wake Daddy up, oops! The best sound he made was early on when he would cry, he would hoot like a little owl. It was just the cutest sound in the world, I almost want to let him cry just so I can hear that cute little hoo hoo sound. 

I am working on writing up the story of his birth and just haven't had time to finish it, but it is coming soon. I also have more pics to share, keep checking back for more! Lots of love to everyone for all their good wishes, gifts, cards, flowers and help during this special time. Thank you!

11 July 2008

Sleepy smile

I caught Maddox smiling in his sleep - well, more like smirking! He is so fricking cute I can't stand it! He looks very mischievous here though, what have I gotten myself into?

40 weeks belly shot

Just wanted to get my last belly shot up here - should've posted it before the baby announcement, but I couldn't help myself!! This is literally minutes before we left for the hospital, so my water had already broke. It looks kind of square in the photo, hee hee, weird!

07 July 2008

Introducing... Maddox Berlin Benco - our 4th of July baby!

Twenty hours after my water broke, Maddox came into this world via emergency c-section. He arrived at 9:02am on the 4th of July. He weighed 8 lbs, 1 oz and is 20 inches long. He is a very sweet baby who has caught on to breastfeeding very well. I love his full head of hair and his chubby round face. He is just perfect to me, the biggest blessing of my life and I am so lucky!!!! 

03 July 2008

My water broke!!!!!!

It happened about an hour ago and we are heading to the hospital now... Can you believe it happened right on my due date? Crazy! Maybe he will be a July 4th baby!! I'll post an update when I can....

02 July 2008

1 day left! Induction scheduled...

I can't believe my countdown ticker says there is 1 day left! It is so crazy that my due date is finally arriving. Although, I am not so sure the baby is going to arrive anytime soon. I saw the doc today and she said I am still dilated 1cm - maybe 1.5. Whoop dee doo. She said she would try stripping my membranes to get things going, but my cervix was so soft she didn't think it was necessary. I did lose my mucous plug last night though. Not to get too gross on you, but I got up in the middle of the night and there was a goobaly mess on the toilet paper. (Goobaly is a medical term.) But, as with most of the signs of labor it doesn't mean much except gee, I might deliver in the next day or the next 2 weeks! So, thank goodness, my female OB decided to schedule my induction for next week - 1 week past my due date. The male doc I saw last week wanted to wait for 1.5 weeks past, ugh! So, I am scheduled to go for induction next Wednesday, July 9th at 6pm. 6pm? Well, they will apply a prostaglandin gel to my cervix when I get there and let it sit overnight. Then, start pitocin the next morning. The nice thing is that I asked my doctor to schedule it when she is going to be there to deliver me. So, I wouldn't have to worry about having another doctor deliver me! Yay! Although, I could go into labor at anytime between now and then, so you never know! I hope I go into labor some time in the next few days on my own, because I really don't want to be induced. We will see what happens! I will keep you posted...

29 June 2008

Still 1 cm...

Saw the doc on Friday and I am still dilated 1 cm and 70% effaced. But, anything can happen at any time! The doc felt the baby and thought he seemed "very long and narrow". So, duh, he is tall and skinny like his daddy!. But, he guessed that he was around 8 pounds, which isn't too bad. This is just a guesstimate, it wasn't a very scientific measurement of the baby. I just hope I have him in the next week so he doesn't end up being 9 pounds +!

The Braxton Hicks are happening every once in a while. I've had maybe 8 or so today, but I've been pretty active cleaning the house and doing laundry, some days I don't have any. My mama is coming tomorrow, so had to get the house all clean and get a little more organized. I have been waiting until my mom got here, then I can have the baby anytime after that! I'd say we are very ready to go to the hospital at any time! Well, I do need to finish packing my suitcase, I've got a few things in there, but it's not complete. I need to get some snacks for Rudy and myself and throw my toiletries, robe, slippers and the breastfeeding pillow in there. I really hope I am at home when the time comes, because then I can finish throwing everything in there. I should be, but I am going to try to go to the office on Tuesday. I am trying to work until I go into labor. I am praying that I go into labor in the next week, I really don't want to have to work past this week. The doc said if I don't go into labor on my own, they will probably induce me two weeks from tomorrow. I said TWO WEEKS??? I can't wait another two weeks, I am ready now! Maybe my female doc will say different when I see her this wednesday. I am thinking I will have him within a couple of days either side of my due date. At least I hope that is what happens! Pray for him to come out safely in the next week or so!

26 June 2008

39 weeks...

Helllooooo big mama! I didn't think my belly was that much bigger than it was in the last few weeks, but in the pictures it does look bigger! It is hard to tell when it is your own body. But, I do think I am looking pretty chubby everywhere - especially my face, ugh. Only 1 more week! I was still dilated to 1 cm last Friday at my doc appt, but found out that I am 70% effaced. So, at least there is something going on, maybe tomorrow I will have made more progress. I see the doc tomorrow at 8am, so will post an update after that.

I am to the point where I am pretty uncomfortable and cumbersome. Walking is a chore and it hurts all over. My internal organs feel smashed like pancakes and nothing is working right, but I'll just leave it at that. I am pretty ready to not be pregnant anymore! It does get hard at the end, just like they say. I only have a few more things I need to do before this baby can come out. I am waiting until my mom gets here on Monday, and then I will be really ready. I am feeling pretty excited about meeting this little man - but I bounce from excited to scared to denial and back all the time. I am still working - from home today, tomorrow and Monday. If nothing is happening I may show my face in the office next Tues/Wed. I don't want to be seen as a slacker!

I still have a lot of things to blog about, but haven't gotten around to it. Another blog I read reminded me of all the decisions you have to make while pregnant - and there are a few I haven't shared with you that I keep meaning to. I am referring to breastfeeding, diapers, childcare, my work schedule, etc. I will post about this soon, I am tired now and ready for some zzzzzzzzzz. Good night!

12 June 2008

I am dilated to 1 cm!

Just saw the doc and I have started to dilate - 1 whole cm. Cool! Not that I will be going into labor soon or anything, but it's nice to know I am making some progress! Only 9 more cm to go!

10 June 2008

Nursery update: fabric choice

I know I have been slow in the nursery updates, but it has taken me a lot longer to accomplish some of these projects! I can at least show you the fabrics I chose for the nursery, although, they might seem off the wall without seeing the final projects. I finally finished the quilt this past weekend and it turned out just ok. It was a lot more challenging of a project than I expected, but sewing always seems to turn out that way. I don't have any pics to show you yet of the quilt, but expect to see some soon. I also (almost) finished painting the mural on the wall (thanks Marcy for the good kick start!). I think I want to add a little more to the walls though, so am not revealing that yet. It will probably still be a while before the entire nursery is finished -Rudy is building bookshelves which probably won't be done for another month or so, but I kind of want to wait to reveal the entire nursery until everything is done and in the room. But, I will share little tidbits along the way including the above fabrics!

These fabrics are by Etsuko Furuya from the Echino line. They are from a japanese designer and I fell in love with them when I saw them on reprodepot.com. They are very kooky - from afar, the damask looks very traditional, but up close it is filled with animals, bugs and skulls. Yes, skulls. I am also using the damask in green and purple, as well as a basic black and white polka dot fabric. When you see the quilt you will see all these fabrics come together! I couldn't resist the purple fabric with the birds on it either, so mixed it with the damask - it is working out pretty good. Well, that is all for now! I am off to the doctor now for my 37 week appointment.

06 June 2008

36 week update

I saw the doc today and she did a more "invasive" exam. I am not dilating at all yet, but my cervix does feel soft! She thinks I will be dilated a little by next week, but who knows. I was also put on the monitor for 20 minutes - they call it a "non-stress" test for the baby. They just monitor the baby's heart rate while he is moving to make sure he isn't under any stress. This is a test for old ladies over 35 like myself. Everything is looking good! I am getting a little anxious for this phase of motherhood to be over - it is getting harder and harder to get around and sleep and I am tired! Luckily, my back has felt a little better this week so I am doing pretty good overall. Only 4 more weeks!

05 June 2008

36 weeks belly shot

I don't think I look much bigger than a couple weeks ago.

29 May 2008

35 weeks today, 35 days left to go...

And I am 35 years old! Weird! I think I need to play the lottery with those numbers! Part of me can't believe I only have 35 days to go - on the other hand, 5 weeks sounds like a long time. I am ready now! My back is still killing me - physical therapy has helped a little - but I still have moments where I am just totally miserable. But, I do have more moments where I am ok - just ok. I am pretty sure I will have to live with the back pain for the next 35 days - so, will just take it one day at a time.

I am now getting kicked in the ribs - my belly has officially reached the bottom of my rib cage. I can't imagine getting bigger than I already am! My skin is itchy and the whole top of my belly is pretty sore at the end of the day - probably from the squirmy, kicky little guy in there! He is pretty active - my belly looks like I am belly dancing sometimes - it is so fun to watch!

Oh - funny story. I went to get into my car yesterday morning and my dear hubbie had draped a garbage bag and towel over my seat. Haha!! He is so cute! He learned that in childbirth class last week. (FYI - it's just in case my water breaks in the car, I won't ruin the lovely leather seats). I had to laugh though because not only was the bag and towel over the bottom of the seat -it was tucked under the headrest covering the whole back of the seat too. I hope I don't explode amniotic fluid beyond my seat!!

20 May 2008

33 weeks, 4 days belly shot

I haven't posted a pic in a while, so here you go! Only 44 days to go and I am getting very excited! We started our childbirth classes on Sunday, very informative. I can't wait to meet this little guy face to face and wish my due date was here already. But, I don't want him to be born early, so I will wait for another month and a half to slooooooooooowwwwwwlly tick by. I am trying to take this one day at a time as it is getting harder and harder to move around, sleep and work with all this baby stuff on my mind and extra weight in my belly I have to carry around. I still have so much to do!!! I wear out really quickly doing anything and need to lie down frequently because my back is still really bad. I think it has made a small improvement as long as I sit in a reclined position with my feet up. But doing anything causes my back to start hurting after a short bit. I am a mess! We went out to dinner on Sat night and that was the last time I am doing that - sitting in a chair eating is the worst possible place for my back. I can't tolerate it for long. 

Yesterday I was leaving work and just coming out of my building when I ran into my fertility doc! It was weird because I couldn't place him right away - seeing him out of context threw me - so I looked at him and he looked at me with a small flicker of recognition and then we passed and I realized who he was. I wish I would have realized sooner so I could have said "Hey Dr. Miller!! Thank you so much for my baby boy!!!" I haven't seen him since the day he did the embryo transfer and made me stand on my head! hee hee, I bet he would have liked to hear that everything is going ok, even though he probably really doesn't remember me.  What a fulfilling, yet busy job he has, giving couples babies they may have never otherwise conceived.  Probably a really stressful job though too to have so much responsibility.