Welcome Verity Claire!

Today I received the best birthday present ever, our new daughter! Please welcome Verity Claire Benco! Born this morning at 7:58am via cesarean section. She is 7 lbs, 15 oz and 20.5 inches long. She has a full head of hair and has been eating nonstop since she was born. We are both doing fine and resting comfortably. Thank you God for our miracle daughter, we are so blessed and ecstatic! Happy Birthday to me and Verity!

15 month update

Our little man

Dada had to have this Jimi Hendrix shirt, so stylin'!
Posing with prego mama
Silly face!

I am way behind on my blogging! Maddox had his 15 month checkup 3 weeks ago, hehe. Here are the stats:

Height: 30 3/4 inches (50% percentile)

Weight: 25 3/4 lbs (50-75% percentile)

Head circumference: 19 inches

He is just an average boy, but is growing at an even rate!

He got some vaccine boosters and a flu shot. They weren't going to do the flu shot as they were short on them, but since I am pregnant and about to give birth, they gave in and gave it to him. He was not too happy about the shots, really cried hard, but recovered quickly. I think he will remember that next time we go to the doctor unfortunately. Not much else to report other than he is on track for language - he has a few words that he says which is normal. He says "da da", "bus" and "car". He LOVES buses, cars and trucks and is always pointing them out and saying "Bus", which actually sounds like "Dus". He thinks most everything on the road or in the air is a bus though. But, he recently started say "car" or "ga". He is trying! He probably says a lot of other words too, but we just don't understand as his pronunciation is not very good yet. He also says "dis", which we think means "what's this?" because he is constantly pointing and things and saying "dis?". He has not really said "mama" at all, sometimes he says an m sound which sounds like ma ma maaaa but I don't think he knows that I am Mama. :-( One of these days!

I really feel like Maddox is growing up so fast! He looks more like a little boy now, not a baby. He is still very baby like, but also very grown up. He can run around the house, cackling like a little monster chasing the dog around. His little cackle is hilarious, I hope to catch it on video soon. He loves playing with the dog, thinks she is so funny. He can wave bye bye, give lots of kisses and points at everything. He is getting a little wild at the dinner table, he bangs his plate and sippy cup on the table when he is done or wants attention. He also doesn't always want to start eating right away, he has to do it on his own terms. Or, I have to sneak something in his mouth and then he will eat when he realizes, hey, this is good! He is still a really good eater, eats almost anything. Loves vegetables, fruit and meat, but especially loves bread and pasta of course. He always wants what is on our plate, even though we give him exactly what we are eating 99% of the time. He has started eating bigger chunks of things like bananas or string cheese. He can bite off pieces and eat them and prefers to do this because it is more like a big boy.

He loves to play - his favorite toy is a ride on bulldozer that he zips around the house on, bumping into everything and the dog. He likes to play with non-toys too - kitchen utensils and tupperware, empty boxes, bags/packages of food like granola bars, anything crinkly. He loves the mason jar screw on lids and puts them on his arms like bracelets, so funny. He also loves buckles - he is constantly buckling his tripp trapp chair buckle, then yells for someone to unbuckle it so he can rebuckle it. He also will sit on the floor for quite some time playing with the buckles on my backpack. He still wears our shoes around the house or just likes to carry them around. He likes to just carry things around and put them in other places too. We find things in the garbage, or in his bag he takes to daycare, or in the cabinets and drawers.

He can only say a few words, but it seems like he understands everything we say. The other day I asked him where his motorcycle was - we got him this little motorcycle toy to play with. He bends over and points under the chair. I looked under there, and there it was! I was shocked he even knew where it was! We can ask him to get things like his coat or shoes and he will run over to them if they are nearby. He seems to understand things like "be gentle" or "don't touch", although mostly ignores the "don't touch" requests. He is so fricking cute though, it is hard to be serious when asking him not to do things. I am just amazed at how smart he is and how much he has grown in such a short time on this earth!

He still sleeps through the night pretty much like clockwork. Goes to bed around 8 or 8:30 and goes down awake with his monkey and blanket. We usually cover him with 2 blankets and if we only put one on him, he points to the other one and does his "eh eh" thing. He says "eh eh" a lot and we are trying to break that habit. Ha ha, probably won't be broken anytime soon! He has taken to doing a lot of screaming lately too. He is LOUD! He does it when he is bored and wants attention or to get out of his high chair or car seat. We have tried ignoring that one, or saying please stop, but that hasn't worked yet. We turned his car seat around to face forward finally - wanted to give him some time alone like that rather than doing it right after the baby arrived. He likes being able to see out all the windows now and is pointing at all the cars and trucks and buses. We are afraid he is trying to give up one of his naps, we really don't want him to yet. But, he is inconsistently napping in the morning now - sometimes will play in his crib forever and won't go to sleep. Sometimes he conveniently poops his pants after we put him down, and he will not go to sleep with poop in his pants. If we change him quick enough, he will go to sleep afterwards. But, a lot lately he is not napping at all, then takes a long afternoon nap, or no nap at all which makes him very crabby. The last couple days he has taken a really long later morning nap and no afternoon nap. Not sure how to handle this development yet. He still naps at day care at his normal times, albeit short naps and sometimes the morning nap is nonexistent. He has also starting sleeping a little later in the morning, which is our fault. We just let him sleep in until 7 sometimes, or if he wakes at 5:30 or so, we wait until he goes back to sleep.

He has 11 teeth now - 4 on the top in front and 4 on the bottom in front and 3 molars coming in on the sides. He has been waking up in the night sometimes and we think it is the teeth coming in. Although, he seems to have a little cold coming on right now - excellent, just in time for the baby!

We have a lot of exciting things happening in the next week! Maddox is oblivious of course, but we are interested in seeing how he handles his new sister's arrival. Mamie (grandma) arrives on Saturday for three weeks, we are all going to be vampires for Halloween and do some trick or treating, then Tuesday is the big day!

A quick update on me. I have been dilated to 1 cm at my last three appointments, yahoo! I think I will make it to my scheduled day, but who knows. I am very uncomfortable and not sleeping very well right now. I have been having some sharp pains every once in a while where my incision is, kind of worries me but the doc didn't think it was a problem. It is just stretching the skin there and I think it is ligament pain personally - when I move or bend the wrong way, I get sharp pains in the front and sides of my belly. Oh joy! My belly is just getting too big! I am having an H1N1 vaccination tomorrow finally - had to pull some strings to get it before the baby arrived, but felt it was important. It is a little nervewracking to give birth to a newborn in a hospital in the middle of a nasty flu season. I have my last doc appt on Thursday with the doc who is delivering me.

I will post an update after the baby comes as soon as I can!

C-Section Scheduled

I have officially scheduled the birth of my baby girl. It is strange to say that, but also nice to know when it will happen and to plan for it (and count down the days, hours, minutes...). Of course, things don't always go as planned, but I am scheduled 5 days before my official due date, so I doubt very much that I will go into labor ahead of time.

So, we are scheduled for November 3rd at 7:30am! That also happens to be my birthday, so Happy Birthday to me! I had a choice between the 3rd and the 4th and figured, why not have the same birthdays? If they are one day apart, we would still celebrate at the same time anyway, so I might as well bless (curse) my daughter with my birthday. I think it's kind of cool. I hope she doesn't mind!

Coming to the decision about doing a c-section was a little harder than picking the due date. I considered doing a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean). However, there are some risks involved and my doctors thought that I had a low chance of it actually happening that way because of how it went last time. I never dilated past 8cm. They don't know if that is because the cord was around Maddie's neck, or if I just don't have room for a baby to come through my pelvis, or a combination of factors. My doctor said he is an aggressive vbac-er and still was leaning towards the c-section. If I go with the c-section, the risks to the baby are minimal and are higher for me. If I go with a vbac, the risks to the baby are higher. I don't want to risk anything with the baby so feel more comfortable with the c-section. Also, last time, we went through an entire night of Maddie having heart decelerations and my blood pressure dropping very low, and I definitely do not want to go through that again. If I did go the vbac route, I can't be induced. Which means no pitocin and I would have to progress through labor naturally which could take a long time, then end up with a c-section anyway. I don't want to be utterly exhausted when I finally have this baby. I was so tired and worn out by the time Maddox was born, I could barely keep my eyes open in recovery to hold him the first time and breastfeed him, it was not fun. I also feel that I don't remember as much as I wish I did. I am hoping I will be much more alert and involved this time and will have the strength to recover more quickly.

Getting a c-section is major surgery and not much like giving birth the old fashioned way. But, I am determined to make it as wonderful an experience and closer to the regular way as I can. I have asked the doctor to make sure that I get some time with my baby after she is born. Last time, I only saw him for a few minutes and they sent Rudy to recovery. I want to spend the whole time in there with Rudy and my baby, not alone! I also want to see her right as she is being born. So, they will let me watch the c-section - as much as I want! Yikes! My doc said he has put up a mirror before to allow the mom to see it all. I don't think I want to do THAT, but I am going to have them lower the curtain so I can see more of what is going on. I want to see them pulling the baby out and watch her cry for the first time, etc. I missed it all last time, I only heard. I probably won't be able to watch the entire surgery or anything, although Rudy did watch the whole thing last time, ick! I am a little squeamish when it comes to myself and blood and all that, but I think I can handle a little bit of it to see my baby! We'll see how I feel that day I suppose.

I am in the home stretch, but am full on miserable. My back hurts every day now and the nerve pain in the front is back. It is exacerbated by the baby liking to hang out on the right side with her feet up in my ribs right where the nerve pain is. I am sore all over and some days can't walk too good. I also have heartburn which I didn't have last time. But, I am taking it one day at a time. Only 21 more days, 3 weeks of work, 3 more weekends to get ready, won't be long now. I can't wait!

Labor day fun

Maddox loves his new snowsuit!

Riding a tractor on the apple farm!

Maddox loves to wear our shoes around, so funny!

Sizing up his cousin Eva...

The two little cuties tolerating each other...

We had some visitors from Texas this past weekend. My brother, Aaron, his wife Shannon and Maddie's cousin Evangeline stopped for 2 nights on their way back home from a road trip to Michigan. They were visiting family in Michigan and came through Chicago on their way back to Texas. It was a great visit and Maddox got to play and get to know Eva. She is almost 4 months older than Maddox, but they still had fun playing. She loved to hug and kiss him, although he wasn't that into it. He will kiss and hug his Mama and Dada all day long, but he is not ready for hugging and kissing others apparently! We hit the Last Fling in Naperville - just went to the family funland where they played outdoors for a while. I was having major back pain on Sat, so didn't last long out and about. It was a short, but fun visit and we hope to see them again soon!

On Sunday we went shopping and got Maddox some fall/winter clothes and also found him a new snowsuit! We couldn't resist trying it on when we got home, he looks so funny waddling around in it. The snowsuit is from Hanna Anderssen and was on sale, can't beat that! We also found a fleece bunting/snowsuit thing for the baby too there, but have to go back to get it as we noticed it on our way out. Since they gave me a coupon for my next purchase, that's what I'll be buying! Maddox got a few pairs of pants, shirts and socks from the Gap. We are pretty set on pants for winter, but he could use some more shirts, sweaters, a sweatshirt and pajamas. He also will need some snow boots so he can play outside this winter! Shopping for kids clothes is fun, but can get expensive. I think I am going to have too much fun shopping for our baby girl, although I am sure I will spend more money. Boys clothes are easy, buy some pants and tops and then mix and match. Girls have outfits and dresses and hair bows and tights, etc. etc.

On Labor day we went to an Apple Orchard out west, didn't pick any apples, but ate lots of apple cider donuts and drank apple cider! Maddox got to horse around on the baby tractors, he seemed to like it! It was a pretty nice, relaxing weekend, but too short!

Other random things going on - Maddox got another haircut. We went a lot shorter this time because his hair was growing so fast. Left it long in the front, but added lots of layers and cut it short on the sides and back. It looks pretty cute, but it's so straight it just hangs down straight. I have to put gel in it to style it all cool, but haven't bothered to try that out yet. Looks like I am going to have to add haircuts to the budget for this guy!

I have 8 weeks to go... Seems short, but so long. I am ready to be done. Being pregnant is hard work! I am definitely feeling a LOT better in terms of my back than last time, but I still have bad days where my back is killing me at the end of the day. I also have other aches and pains, mostly in my hips and groin area - lots of pressure. I get up from my chair at work sometimes and can hardly walk, I basically look like and old crippled woman hobbling around. Oh well, it's worth it! I am working on scheduling my c-section and will update more about that later.

Mama and baby, 29 weeks

Finally got around to taking some more belly shots this weekend. We also had our 30 week ultrasound on Friday (at 28 weeks, 5 days). Our baby girl is looking perfect and she weighs around 3 pounds. Wow! She is definitely a girl, I had the doc check again, hee hee. Mama is feeling pretty darn good, only intermittent back pain this time, which is absolutely wonderful. With Maddox, I was in pretty serious pain for almost 5 months and it was horrible! I do have the same back pain, but not all the time, so I am so grateful. Only 10 more weeks! It is looking like a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks. I am thinking of scheduling it on my birthday, Nov 3rd! That is 5 days before my due date. They would schedule it exactly that day anyway, or the day before or after, so why not just have the same birthday? I was not sure if I wanted to do that to her or not, but I figure, what is the difference if our birthdays are 1 day apart or on the same day? She will be the best birthday present ever!

Side view of the belly

Artistic shot, hee hee

Tried to copy the shot we took of the belly in Puerto Rico, almost the same!

Profile of our sweet baby girl

Her sweet little face! She looks squished in there!

Toothbrushing

Maddox now has 8 teeth. Two on the bottom came in recently for a total of 4 on the bottom and 4 on the top. I finally started actually brushing his teeth a month or 2 ago. Probably something I should have started earlier, but I am not going to beat myself up about it. The pediatrician just said to wipe them off with a towel after the last bottle at night. But, I finally bought some toothpaste at Whole Foods - Earth's Best I believe, and it came with a little finger brush. So, now every night after his last milk, I brush his little toothies and his gums too. He LOVES it! I am sure it is just the strawberry banana flavored toothpaste, which is safe for him to swallow, but it doesn't really matter because it makes tooth brushing easy! I brush around for a little bit, then just let him chew and suck on the brush. I figure he gets some extra cleaning that way. A couple weeks after I started doing this, he grabbed the toothbrush and toothpaste off the bookshelves and stuck the brush on his own finger and started "brushing" his own teeth. It was adorable! He does this any chance he gets now, he grabs the toothbrush and toothpaste and just carries them around, brushing his teeth as he goes. He is becoming quite the little imitator. I realize this is how babies learn, imitating people. But, it is so fun to actually see him do it. I think he is just so darn cute and so smart! There are so many little things he does that surprise me and make us laugh. I need to write more of them down so I don't forget.

Here is a pic of his toothies - this is from July before he got his haircut, but shows off his goofy grin! When he smiles, I just melt into a big gooey mess. I am so wrapped around his finger!

Here are some more toothy grins taken right after his 1st birthday. I only have a few of him sitting still, the rest are him in motion. He never stops walking - he's always going somewhere!

25 weeks belly shot

So, I feel so bad because I haven't taken ANY belly shots this time around. I finally have one! I hope our baby girl doesn't hold it against me that I don't have as many pictures of myself pregnant with her. I swear I won't be one of those moms that doesn't take as many photos as I have taken of my first born! I hope. Anyway, here I am last weekend at 25 weeks. I think I look bigger at this stage then I did last time, but I think it looks bigger in this dress. Also, even though I started out thinner this time by about 6 pounds, I have put more weight by this time than last time I think, ugh. I have had quite the sweet tooth and really need to start restraining myself more! I will get a naked belly shot soon...

First haircut

Our little man had his first real haircut this weekend! It was just getting too long and really needed a trim and some shape. We still wanted to keep this long shaggy look he has going, we like it and think it's cute. So, we went to Cookie Cutters and asked for a trim! Maddie was very good, he "drove" the racecar he sat in and sucked on a sucker and was calm as a cucumber. He is so laid back, I didn't think he would be a problem. He also watched some Elmo on TV, which probably helped a little as it is not something he normally does. Here are the before, during and after shots!

BEFORE...

During, and looking slightly annoyed...

Driving the racecar chair...

Drooling all over his sucker...

And, Voila! After shots!

Our handsome little man!

Whirlwind week

I finally can take a breath and can share our family time together. I am back to work after a wonderful, yet very busy, week off with my baby and family. Rudy is back from his 2 week motorcycle dream vacation in one piece, thank God! I am now in the final countdown of my pregnancy - no more big events to worry about anyway. I have 14 weeks or so left until my new little one arrives and I can't wait!

My brother Beau, his wife Tiffany, and their two little ones, Scarlett (3) and Tyler (1) came to visit for 8 days over the 4th of July birthday holiday. My mom and dad also came for the festivities, so I had a full house for the long 4th of July weekend. My dad left on Sunday (as did Rudy for his motorcycle trip) and Beau et al. stayed until the following thursday and my mom stayed for the duration of Rudy's 2 week trip to help me out. Thank you so much Mama! I couldn't have done it without her. We did a lot during the time everyone was here and here are the highlights!

Everyone arrived on Wed, July 1st and I had to work Wed and Thursday. So, those two days, people were hanging out and doing last minute birthday shopping. The birthday party was scheduled for the 4th and we were celebrating Maddie's 1st, Tyler's 1st, and Scarlett's 3rd birthdays. Tyler's birthday is actually July 6th and Scarlett's is July 8th, so we've decided it will be a tradition to celebrate all these July birthdays together. In addition to the little ones, my Dad's birthday is on July 15th and Jackson's is on the 29th. So, it is a very busy birthday month! Anyway, on Thursday we decided to venture out in the evening for some messy ribs at Naperville's ribfest! The only fun kid activities were the carnival and Scarlett had fun on all the rides. 

Here she is on the mini ferris wheel. What a cutie!

On Friday, our one activity for the day was to go to the Brookfield Zoo. Scarlett really wanted to see Hippos as that is her favorite animal. Unfortunately, the hippos weren't out and about, so we could only peek at them inside a door eating lunch. They didn't look like the happy, colorful hippos she was used to anyway! The zoo was ok - the kids went on the carousel, but other then that, it was a lot of walking around to see very few animals. We were a little annoyed that we couldn't bring the stroller into the monkey house - my Dad carried Maddox and Rudy stayed outside to watch the strollers and wagon - we just didn't feel comfortable just leaving our Bugaboo outside for anyone to take. The gorillas were the most interesting monkeys to see in the monkey house fyi - they are at the end and you could see them pretty close up. It was hard for the kids to see the other monkeys up in the trees I think.

Here is a pic of Maddie on the carousel with his Papa - it is a rare treat to see both of them smiling in the same pic, but this is the most adorable pic!!!

On Saturday, of course, we had the birthday party. It was a very long Friday night and Sat morning for me doing all the prep work for the food and cleaning up the house, decorating. I was working until the very last second. Of course my family was helping me, I would never have gotten it all done without them, so THANK YOU! Throwing a party was a lot of work, and I am not sure it is worth it. When Maddox is a little older, I am sure he will appreciate it more. All in all, though, it was a fun time. I tried to keep it small and there was only about 15 adults and 7 kids there, but it still really stressed me out. I can barely remember what happened! But, basically, the kids played, we ate, then did a pinata - which Scarlett and Tyler brought with them from Mexico (they live in Mexico currently), then we sang the happy birthdays and watched each of the kids eat their cake. Unfortunately, it was raining that day and so we couldn't do much outside, but Rudy still grilled the kabobs and they were delicious! Here we are with our growing up too fast baby, Maddox!

Here's Maddox amidst the pinata goodies that were all over the floor. He had his first sucker and it was really hard to take it away from him!

Here's Tyler and Maddox playing the next day, telling us that they are 1 now! What a little smarty pants that Tyler is! And what a couple of cutie pies!

On Monday, we did the impossible and went to downtown Chicago. We had to take two cars, since 3 kids in carseats and 4 adults just don't fit into one car unless you have a minivan, which I don't, or a giant SUV, which I don't. So, two cars it was. We did the Shedd Aquarium and Millenium park, and that was enough. It was a long, exhausting day...

The kids loved the aquarium, especially Scarlett. As a 3 year old, it was right up her alley. Tyler and Maddox were a little young for it, but they still looked and pointed at everything. Maddox was a little freaked out by the dolphins swimming so close to the glass, when the first one swam up, he panicked and turned and grabbed me close. You can see the dolphin in the next shot with Scarlett, very cool!

The kids loved playing in the water at the fountain in Millenium park. Maddox cried when I finally dragged him out of there. I think in this photo, Tyler had just fallen down. This doesn't seem like the safest of places for kids to be running around, smooth tiles with water on them is slippery! There are a lot of kids running around and splashing, and we saw a few fall down. I stayed close to Maddox the whole time as I didn't want him to fall, so I got a little wet from all the kiddies running around and splashing everyone. 

Here's the kiddies playing in the backyard pool. Maddox finally would stay and splash and sit in the pool when his cousins showed him how it is done. When we first got the pool, he didn't want to play in it alone, that's no fun!

On Wednesday, it was raining, again, so we went to the Naperville Children's museum. I wasn't sure if it would be any fun for the tiny men, but it turned out to be the best activity of all for them. They loved it! There was just room after room of fun stuff to play with. Here is our new family band playing the drums!

Maddox carrying around some dangerous object.

The air tubes are so much fun!!

And the kids really loved to play in the water, I think that is Maddie's favorite activity now after swimming in the pool, playing with his new water table from his fairy godmother, Marcy, and being in the fountain at Millenium park. I think he would have stood here for hours...

We jam packed in a lot of activities, and I was sad, but relieved for everyone to go home so I could catch up on some relaxation and sleep time! Next year, Beau and Tiffany will host the party and hopefully it will be catered!!!

Happy 1st Birthday Maddox!

My baby turned 1 year old today! The last year has gone by so fast. It has been an exhausting few days preparing for and having his little birthday party. I can't believe my baby is 1! It has been the best year of my life having and caring for my little man. I can't wait for the next year and the next year and the next year!!!! I will have many more photos to post, but tonight mommy is very tired and is headed to bed. Happy Birthday Maddox and Happy 4th of July! Mama and Papa love you so very much!

And we're walking and climbing...

Maddox starting walking this weekend! He has been walking around furniture and pushing things around, but has only taken maybe 1 or 2 steps on his own. Well, all of a sudden, he took like 5 steps in a row, then 6, then 10 at one time! He is so fricking cute. I was stunned! I got very excited, which made him very excited, which only makes him fall down. Oopsy, sorry buddy! He seems to take the most steps when we are hardly paying attention, I'll look away and look back and he'll be halfway across the room! He is getting better every day, sometimes he just toddles all over the place, grabbing onto something along the way or falling down and climbing back up. Sometimes he will crawl everywhere as fast as he can, laughing along the way if you start chasing him. He loves being chased, it is so cute! He will practically run if Rudy or I hold one or both of his hands. I am predicting that by his birthday he will be walking nonstop! Wow, some things just happen so fast!

He has also figured out how to climb the stairs. He just started crawling up them one day, like he knew how to all along. It was pretty surprising! He can crawl all the way to the top in no time, which is no small feat because we have 16 steps to the second floor. Now we need to teach him to come down because right now he gets to the top, pulls himself to standing and then proceeds to stick one leg in the air, like he is trying to dip it into a pool like he wants to walk down. Yikes! We obviously don't let him anywhere near the stairs unless we are with him, so there is no danger of him falling, but he is getting faster and faster at crawling and walking, so we should probably gate off the top of the stairs. Ugh, I hate those stupid gates! We have had one at the top of the stairs to the basement since we moved in pretty much to keep the dog out. I have always hated that gate and now I need to get more? Ugh. I haven't really done much baby proofing around the house except for sticking those outlet plugs in the outlets that are visible. I am going to have to start locking some cabinets and have just been tying scarves on them so far. You could spend a fortune on all that babyproofing stuff! I am just putting it off as long as possible, but I realize that at some point he is going to be able to get into the next room and do something crazy before I can catch up with him, so need to lock up a couple of cabinets. Just add that to our list of one million things we need to do in the next couple of weeks leading up to Maddie's birthday party. More about that later!

We're having a healthy baby and...

11 Month Update

We took some pictures in downtown Naperville on the riverwalk when Mamie was in town. Now for the update... I can't believe that my tiny baby boy is going to be 1 year old in a month! The time is going so fast, I wish I could slow it down. He is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me, besides my wonderful husband Rudy of course. Here are some of the fun things Maddox is doing lately:

• He can clap, wave and scrunch up his face when you scrunch up your face.
• He loves to dance and boogies either sitting or standing when you turn on the music or start singing to him.
• He also immediately starts clapping when I sing "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!" It is so cute!
• He yells through a toilet paper or paper towel tube like mama or papa does. This requires explanation I guess. We gave him some tubes to play with and used them like megaphones to talk and sing to him. Yesterday, I gave it to him and he started yelling through the tube! Doubly cute!
• He primarily prefers to feed himself. He gets mad sometimes if we try to feed him, he wants to pick up the food and do it himself darnit! He is a good little eater too, will eat pretty much anything we give him and eats it faster than I can put it down. I have to limit how much I give him at a time because he shoves it all in his mouth as fast as he can and sometimes will gag himself!  He can also drink out of his sippy cup on his own too and loves water.
• He crawls pretty darn fast!
• He can walk around holding on to the furniture, the walls of his playpen, pushing his truck or holding our hands. He can also stand on his own, but when he realizes he's doing it, he gets all nervous and wobbly and falls down or grabs onto something.
• He is SOOOO close to walking! He has taken a step or 2 on his own if something is really close by to grab, but mostly he sits down and starts crawling if he needs to go somewhere. I am not sure I want to really encourage the walking yet, so we haven't pushed him to do it too much. But, I bet soon he will realize he can walk on his own. Yikes!
• He can crawl up the stairs! He just started doing it one day with no warning, we were freaked out! We are trying to teach him how to go down, but it's not working yet. 
• He loves to kiss and hug and sometimes grab and hit you in the face. I am sure it is just a love tap, but sometimes it hurts! 
• He has the goofiest, toothiest grin with the big space in the front still. I hope those front teeth close the gap!
• He is still babbling a lot, says Dada a lot, but hasn't really said Mama much at all. Maybe a few Ma's here and there, but it will be a while before he even knows what those sounds mean. I can't wait to hear Mama!

On another note, I gave him a little haircut. He had some hairs that were a lot longer than the rest, so I just tried to even it out but keep the long shaggy look he's got going. I ended up trimming it a little shorter around the ears than it is in the pics above. I saved the hair for his baby book, sniff sniff.

All in all, he is such a good baby, the best baby boy I could have asked for! He is happy most of the time, sleeps through the night very consistently, eats like a champ and loves to play. We love him to pieces!!

 * * * * * * * 

On another topic, I got my first trimester screening results and they were completely normal. They give you the results in terms of risk of the baby having Downs Syndrome or Trisomy 13/18. They were like 1/3000 and 1/2000 or something like that, I wrote them down somewhere, but left it at home today. Anyway, they put our minds at ease, these results are even better than they were with Maddox, so we feel good that our little baby will be just fine.

I am starting to have a fat belly, although I think I just look fat, not really pregnant yet. It looks like an airline pillow under my shirt, a big fat waist. It is pretty similar to last time, maybe I am showing a couple weeks earlier, but not much. I feel pretty good now though, not as tired, no nausea, no sore back (yet, cross my fingers it never hurts), so I am trying to enjoy feeling good for a while. 

Mama???

Ok, so maybe I'm crazy but I could SWEAR he is saying Mama!! Maybe it's just wishful thinking though, I've been waiting to hear this! Rudy sent this to me today while I am in NY for work, he's been sending me photos and videos so I don't miss my little mini man too much. Oh, how I miss him though! So, Maddox can say Dada all day long and he does, that is pretty much all he says except for an occasional ba or la. So, when I heard this video, I thought, man this sounds like mama!!! If he isn't saying it, this is the closest he has come!!! I put the same short clip in this video three times - what do YOU think?

Happy Mother's Day!

I woke up at home this morning, but I'm going to sleep in New York City. I am spending my first night away from my little guy on mother's day. How nice! Let's just say it was a weepy day for mama. I will be here until Thursday for work, but am really looking forward to going home and seeing my guys on Thursday night. While I'm gone, Rudy has vowed to send me pics so I don't miss Maddox too much. Here is tonight's picture taken at dinnertime! Look at my toothy, messy haired little bub! Gosh, I love him and miss him so much!

First trimester screening

We had an ultrasound at the maternal/fetal medicine specialists today to screen for Down's syndrome and Trisomy 13/18. They also took blood and do some hormone levels, then in conjunction with the ultrasound results tell us our risk for the baby having one of these chromosomal abnormalities. I am 36, so at my age, the risk of down's is 1 / 190 or so. Yikes, seems pretty high! The ultrasound showed completely normal - they measure the thickness of something in the baby's neck to determine part of the results and that part is fine. I am only doing this test to get some peace of mind, although I may end up with a higher risk and if that's the case, we probably won't do anything anyway. But, at least we can prepare ourselves a little. (And worry a lot!).

So, at 12 weeks, 5 days, I am still not looking pregnant. Some people say you show earlier, but I don't see how that is possible. I mean, the baby is only 6 cm long, so how could I possibly show yet? I think I started showing late last time - it was like 18 weeks before you could even tell in clothes that my belly stuck out a little bit. I can tell that my waist is thicker and I am growing out of my clothes, but nobody else can tell. I am starting to wear some maternity clothes, partly because they are so comfortable and partly because I got a huge pile of them from my friend Marcy. So, I have an entirely new wardrobe that I want to start wearing! I won't have to buy much this time hopefully. Although, I may need some nicer work pants for this summer and a couple more short sleeved tops. I wasn't pregnant in summer for very long last time, so don't have that many summer clothes, although Marcy hooked me up with some.

Well, I am going to go spend some time with my little buddy Maddox. I miss him so much during the week! More on Maddox soon!

I have a confession to make

I am so tired and hungry! I am nauseous too, but not as much as I was. I am so bloated and gassy (I know, TMI). I have gained like 6 pounds and feel like a fat cow. That's right, I am pregnant. GASP, SHOCK, AWE!!! This has come as a total shock to us given that we thought we were infertile. How did this happen! I don't know, but it did and we are ECSTATIC!! I mean, I have been thinking about having another baby since Maddox was born. As soon as he came out, I knew I wanted another. I thought I would be satisfied with just one, but not really. But, I never thought this would happen. I hoped and prayed and fantasized something like this would happen. Lots of people told me this could happen, but I though "No way. It won't happen to me". But it did, so miracles DO happen! I am still in shock about it and I am almost 12 weeks pregnant. I have been waiting to tell people because 1. I wasn't sure it was going to last and 2. I just started at a new client and didn't want people at work to find out right away. I still haven't told my boss, so keep this under wraps for a few more days please (don't say anything on facebook just yet)!!! Anyway, so like 7 weeks ago or so, I thought, "gee, I think it's been awhile since I had my period. That's kind of weird". But, I didn't really think it was that weird because I had only had 2 or 3 periods anyway since they started back up in December and they were a little irregular, or so I thought. So, I mentioned it to my hubby a couple times and he gave me "that look". He wasn't so keen on having another. He definitely didn't want to go through all the fertility treatments again. I didn't really want to either, but was seriously considering it and trying to figure out how to talk him into it. Anyway, so I started to think, maybe, just maybe, I am pregnant! But, I have to say I doubted it A LOT and kept putting it out of my mind. Then one day, I thought, what the hell, I'll take a test. So, I started rummaging around in my bathroom looking for one lonely prego test, I must have one somewhere! I thought, this is so ridiculous I can't go buy a test, no way. But, I came up empty handed. Well, I did have a bunch of ovulation tests. Then, I remembered that you can use them as pregnancy tests! Well, sort of.  Pregnancy tests test for HCG and ovulation tests test for LH, but they are one molecule apart in chemical makeup. So, if you have HCG in your system, your ovulation test would come up positive. But, it could also mean you are about to ovulate. I took it anyway and it was dark. I had never seen a ovulation test come up that dark when I was ovulating, so I was very suspicious. So, I told my hubby and he said "let's go to walgreens and find out once and for all!!". So we did. The test came up positive, of course, in like 3 seconds. Rudy kept looking at it and was like "give me the instructions - show me what it is supposed to look like if positive or negative". I said "DUH! It is a plus sign, that means positive!!" "OH MY GOD!!!!!" Wow, we were we shocked, flabbergasted, stunned, all that. Rudy said the right thing of course and said he was happy about it. He better be or I would have been devastated!!!

So, that's my confession. I am feeling pretty good, although I have to say I am a thousand times more tired this time than I was last time and really, really hungry. The nausea kicked in earlier this time and lasted a little longer, but it's pretty much gone now. We've seen the little sprinkle on ultrasound twice and saw the heartbeat. Everything is going fine! YAY!!!! We are SO HAPPY! I have to admit, I feel guilty though because it happened so easily. It is amazing how we didn't really try at all and didn't do much of anything and bam, we are pregnant. Especially since last time we tried and tried and tried and I had surgery and many, many shots and meds and side effects and procedures. It really is unfair to be infertile. Getting to experience it now how God intended is so easy, it makes me mad! But, I am grateful and believe me, I know how lucky I am. The OB/GYN said sometimes being pregnant once can fix things. Amazing. Absolutely wonderful. Thank you God!

9 month update - Happy Easter!

Mr. Maddox turned 9 months old a week ago Saturday. On Friday, we saw the pediatrician and here are the stats:

Weight: 20lbs, 1 oz (50th percentile)

Height: 27 1/4 in (25th percentile)

Head Circumference: 18 in

So, Maddox is a little short! I hope it doesn't mean he will be short as an adult. The doctor said that is not a good indicator right now because he could have a growth spurt next week. I am average height (5'5") and Rudy is tall at 6'2". Rudy's brother Jack is 6'7" though, so there are some very tall genes in the family! Jackson is almost 6'2" at 16, so Maddie could be very tall. Although, I have tall and shorter people in my family, so it's hard to tell!

The doctor said Maddox is "perfect". He didn't have any shots this time around. He has a little runny nose, so the doctor checked his ears, but they are fine.

Check out Maddox's toothy grin above - he has 4 teeth! He has 2 on the bottom and 2 on top, his right top tooth is just coming in, but I am thinking he is going to have a gap in his front teeth like his Mama did. His frenulum seems big. The dentist told me they can clip them when kids are little so they don't interfere with the front teeth. I wish I had mine clipped! 

The last couple of weeks, Maddox's ahem, independent, personality is emerging. If he doesn't get his way with something (mostly when he's tired), he throws his head back, arches his back and screeches and yells. It is so cute!! Ha ha, only a mama would say that! He is becoming a handlful though, he is constantly on the move, and always moving towards something he is not supposed to. He exhausts me! I can't imagine being home alone with him all day every day, that is a very tiring job, being a stay at home mom! I am thankful I get a break by going to work. (Wow, did I just say that out loud?) Although, I am at work too much, I think the perfect thing would be to work 2-3 days a week and spend the rest of the time with my little man. I wish! Maybe someday again I can cut my hours back. 

Well, I have to back to making scalloped potatoes! Happy Easter everyone!

Maddox's milestones

Here is a movie of some of the things baby Maddox has learned to do! He can crawl, pull himself up, cruise around the furniture a little, clap and play! He can also wave and say "Da Da" when he feels like it. He can also say "ba ba", but I am sure he doesn't know what any  of this means. He only says "mama" when he is crying and then the m's seem to come out. Soon, he will say Mama I hope! Maddox had his 9 month checkup last week, I will post his stats soon with his 9 month picture that I will hopefully take this weekend! Sorry the movie is so small, I took it with the camera turned on it's side and then had to rotate it back in iMovie, but it then doesn't fill the screen, argh!

Swing high!

We went to the park this weekend for Maddox's first (well, my first, his third) time on the swing! He seemed to like it!

Goofy grin!

Clapping AND swinging? Wow, Maddie is so talented!

Papa is so much fun!

Wheeeee!!

My two handsome guys!

Mama and Maddox...

Happy St. Patrick's Day and Happy Birthday Eva!

Maddox says "Kiss me, I'm Irish!"

Today is my beautiful niece Evangeline's 1st Birthday! Happy Birthday Baby Eva! I hope you have the best birthday!!

This pic of Eva is several months old now, hopefully I will have a new pic of my Irish princess niece soon. Maddox misses his cousin Eva today and wishes he could be with her! We went to the parade in Naperville this weekend and only got there in time to catch the last 10 minutes. It wasn't very exciting I must say, lots of politicians and businesses advertising. It just doesn't measure up to the wonderful parade they had every year in my home town of beautiful Bay City, MI. I miss those days! We always had a wonderful party for my Papa, whose birthday was on St. Patty's Day. We always had entertainment - either a piano player or bagpipers or something fun. It was good times and so many good memories. Well, maybe not all good. I cringe when I think of how I competed in the St. Patrick's Day pageant when I was a senior in high school and lost. Now that would be a fun picture to see, but too bad, I don't have one handy!  Anyway, we were so blessed to have Eva born on this special day so we have a new reason to have a big party on St. Patty's Day to continue the tradition. We miss you Papa, but celebrate your beautiful new great-granddaughter, Eva!

I hope you have a blessed and lucky St. Patrick's Day!

Round of applause!

Maddox clapped this morning! Woohoo!! He was sitting on the floor playing while Rudy and I were running around getting ready this morning. Rudy just started clapping for Maddox for something and suddenly he started clapping too! IT WAS SO CUTE! I then clapped and he did it again!! It is so awesome when my little man learns something new, I have to say. He waved a few weeks ago, did it all day that day and hasn't really done it since. I hope he doesn't forget how to clap. I am not sure why that happens, it must be a momentary breakthrough or something. I am sure he will be doing all these things frequently quite soon. I am also hoping that since he is getting better at copying us that he will start signing soon. I am still trying to teach him "more". But, he is not catching on. That is normal though, it can take 2 months to learn the first sign at his age, he is a little young for it yet. But, it will probably be soon!!!

I've been wanting to post this picture - this is Maddox and his friend Sadie. Sadie's Mama takes care of Maddox during the day and Sadie and Maddox get to play all day! They just love to play together and Sadie likes to pretend she is Maddie's mama. She is trying to hold his sippie cup for him, so cute!! Sadie gave him this picture for Valentine's day, I think she has a crush on him. But, she is too old for you Maddox! She is a little over a year older than Maddox, but they still have a lot of fun together.

Crawling and Standing: 8 month update

Here is our little ham slip sliding all over the wood floors.

Snuggling with Papa.

Getting squeezed by Mama.

Crawling all over the place, watch out! Here he is heading for his favorite no-no - the fireplace!

And of course his newest favorite activity: standing!

Maddox turned 8 months old this week, time just flies. He is officially crawling now on all fours. He can go pretty good when he wants to, but doesn't go very far yet - maybe 6 feet or so. He could probably go further, but hasn't figured that out yet and I am fine with him staying within a small space. He loves to pull himself to standing so much, usually he just crawls to the couch or the chaise and pulls himself up. He also likes to pull himself up on Mama or Papa too. He can stand there for quite a while and play too, but he does start to get tired and then loses his balance and falls down and goes boom. I have to surround him with pillows so he has a soft landing when he topples over. We find him more often than not standing in his crib too - he wakes up in the morning or after a nap and we can hear him chuckling and cooing to himself - he is pretty good at occupying himself. So, we go in there and he is standing up trying to reach something on the nightstand nearby. What a smart boy! Last night, he woke up at 11:45pm and Rudy went in there and he was standing up in his sleepsack wailing! What a little silly boy - go back to sleep!! 

He is eating three meals a day now and is getting more and more formula each day. My milk supply has really dwindled and I have stopped pumping during the day in preparation for going to my new client on Monday. I am now working 5 days a week at JP Morgan Chase and don't want to take time to pump anymore and the days of working at home every week are probably coming to an end. I am going to try to keep bf-ing in the morning and before bedtime if possible though. We'll see how it goes. We went and bought formula finally last night at Costco, wow, that is a really big expense! We have been using up all the samples we had. :-D BF-ing has been such a blessing and it is free!! I am really sad to stop, but all good things must come to an end I suppose. He seems perfectly happy drinking his bottles of Similac, so I guess I will cope ok. 

Progress report

I love his little Speesees organic cotton jumpsuit from Aunt Shannon! So comfy and cute! And this organic quilt from Cousin April is so awesome!

Isn't his hair so fricking cute? It is so long on top now and he looks like such a little man.

We gave in and got the Tripp Trapp chair and I love it! He can sit in it at the table or at my desk with me and work on his own laptop. He loves it too!

Goofing around with Papa!

Maddox is at such a fun age right now! He loves hugs and kisses and jumping around. He is getting really mobile and he is finally starting to get the forward motion crawling thing down. Although, he is doing more of a caterpillar crawl - like the dance move in the eighties where you roll your body across the floor from your toes to your neck? I don't know how else to explain it, but it is pretty darn funny. He also has TWO teeth on the bottom! One came through first and it is a serrated little doozie - those guys are sharp! The other one came in a week or so later. He wasn't too cranky during that time, but we did give him some baby orajel, man that stuff is strong! I tried it in my own mouth and it instantly numbed half my mouth! You gotta be careful with that stuff. When they are fully in I will get a picture, but they have just burst through and are hard to see still.

Maddox also has mastered the ability to go from laying down to sitting up all by himself. He can get around pretty good with that too. So, he is rolling, sitting up and caterpillaring all over the place. But, his new favorite position is standing. He can pull himself up to standing now all on his own. He seems so tiny to be doing this, but he is really strong. He loves to just stand at the coffee table and play with his toys. He also loves to stand on your lap and bounce and dance around. He is so fricking cute! Play time is really fun. He totally freaked me out the other day though. I put him in his crib for a nap and he woke back up and started crying. So, I went up there and when I opened the door he was standing in his crib! YIKES!! I yelled for Rudy to come up and lower the platform of his bed. We've been meaning to do it, but hadn't seen him actually figure out how to stand up in his bed, but he finally did. So, whew, another disaster averted! We are so proud of our little man. He has been sick again lately with a chest cold and cough. It breaks my heart to hear his little cough.  Poor little buddy. 

On another note, this is my last week working part time. I have to return to full time work next week as I leave my current client, Orbitz. I am really bummed and really excited all at the same time. I am sad to leave my client and to lose my wonderful Fridays at home with my little buddy. But, I have been waiting for 4 years to get the chance to work at a new client and expand my skills and get my career moving again. I am up for promotion this year and am excited to focus a little on my career to make that happen. I hope Maddox will be proud that I am a working mama and won't miss me too much. Hopefully my next clients will allow me some work at home time so I won't miss out on him too much. Maybe in a few years I can go back to part time for a while when the economy is better and we can financially make that happen. For now, I am really going to miss my Friday time with Maddox. 

7 months old!

I was worth the wait! That is for sure, little Maddox!

Bad hair day...

Thumbs up! This is his Orbitz hat, made by my coworker, Shalonda. Isn't it so cute? It has a little airplane on it!

Hanging out on the floor with Jackson. Is that a wig? This is a REALLY bad hair day...

My fairy goddaughter, Delaney. 

So, Maddox is already 7 months old! I am really enjoying every moment, he is still a baby, but is learning so much and is so much fun! He is not quite crawling, but he is getting around pretty good. He can go backwards and in circles, but can't go forward. He is very close to figuring it out though, so I am scared. He was waving this weekend though, which was ridiculously cute. He was sticking out his hand and squeezing it together, and we realized that he is waving! Rudy has been working on that one apparently, but I had never seen him do it until Saturday. He was doing it all day long, it was awesome! We started teaching him sign language, but he hasn't really caught on to it yet. It can take up to 2 months to learn the first sign at his age, so I will be patient. We are teaching him "more" - it seems like a tough one, but that is what the book recommends. He loves to bounce around and dance. I carry him around and dance with him, or he stands on my lap and be bops around, it is very cute. He also loves kisses and peek a boo, especially when I set him on the bed and then hide on the floor and pop up in different spots. It is guaranteed to elicit some silly giggles! I haven't weighed him lately, but I don't think I posted his weight at his 6 month check-up. He was 17lbs, 14 oz and 26 inches long. He is in the 50th percentile for height and weight, so my perfect little average baby. He is still a good little sleeper and sleeps from 8:30pm to around 6:30 am or so. I get him up earlier than that on days I have to go in to the office, but he sleeps through the night 99% of the time. His naps are mostly consistent, some days he takes 3 naps and some days 2, but he naps pretty good. He has had a runny nose for a few weeks now and sounds kind of congested, the poor little guy. His skin has been very dry for about a month now too, hence the very rosy cheeks! I have tried some lotions, but they don't seem to help and I am worried they are making it worse, so am stopping them for a few days. He is now eating 2 solid meals a day now, a 1/4 cup of cereal and a vegetable and fruit too. He loves it! He gobbles up everything and is always leaning forward with his mouth open and waving his arms and grunting for more. So, that is his sign language for "more" right now, but he will perfect the hand sign soon I am sure! 

On another note, my job is changing soon so I may have to wean him from breastfeeding. I am not looking forward to it at all. It has been so wonderful and convenient to breastfeed. I am leaving my current client in Chicago and will be assigned to a new project and it could be anywhere. So, I may have to do some traveling which will make breastfeeding interesting. I am planning to keep it up as long as I can, even if it is only a couple times a day. He started drinking one bottle of formula a day when he is in day care to get him used to it. It is no problem, he sucks it down no problemo! I am just sad to have to give up breastfeeding. It is so nice to be able to solve almost any problem by giving him my boob! I am not sure how to sooth him any other way! I was only planning to BF until 6 months, but since I am enjoying it, I was going to go to a year. But, we may not make it that long. We'll see I guess. Until then, I am going to savor every moment.

M is for Maddox

A fellow blogger and new mom assigned me the task of coming up with a list of things I love that start with M. Here goes!

Michigan - I grew up in Michigan and it will always hold a special place in my heart. I am more partial to northern Michigan now for visiting rather than near Bay City where I am from though. My immediate family no longer lives there so probably won't be visiting good old BC anytime soon. I get up to northern Michigan every once in a while and stay on Crystal Lake where my uncle has some cottages. It is very serene and beautiful there, the perfect spot for some R&R. Michigan has a lot of beauty - there are a lot of beautiful lakes and landscapes.   I also love Michigan because I can show people where I am from using my hand as a map! For example, Bay City is in the thumbpit. ;D Michigan is also home to my alma mater, Michigan State. Go Spartans!

Music - I do love music and am usually trying to find the latest thing to listen to. I am not as obsessed as some people, but I do enjoy finding a new artist or getting a new CD and falling in love with it. It usually takes me a little bit to warm up to new songs, but I enjoy the process. I usually listen to music in my car or at work on my mac or iphone. Maddox seems to love music too. I do a lot of singing to him and he just lights up when I sing. He also calms down whenever we play music for him in the car or at home. The other day Maddox was sick and tired and needed a nap, but wouldn't go to sleep. I stuck him in his carseat as a last ditch effort and he started wailing. I turned on Dave Matthews and he stopped crying instantly and fell asleep within a few minutes. Yes!

Mom - I miss my mama. She lives in Austin, TX - moved there almost 2 years ago. She used to be closer in Michigan, only a 6 hour drive away. Now, I have to talk to her on the phone and do video conferences to stay close. My mom is the most selfless, sweet, loving mom and Mamie around. (Mamie is her grandma name).  She is very creative, a fabulous cook and takes very, very, very good care of her family. She would do anything for her fam! She came to live here for a month after I had Maddie and she was a godsend, making us wonderful meals, rocking the baby, holding him so I could get a little more sleep. It was like having my best friend here. She may live far away, but she is close in my heart. I hope to move closer to her someday soon so Maddox can know his Mamie much better. Thanks for being the best Mama and Mamie ever! Ok, I can't go on and on about my mom and leave my dad out. My Daddy is the best Daddy ever! He is a calm, hard-working, extremely smart and loving Dad and Papa. I love my parents to pieces!

My Man - I had to fit my husband, Rudy, in here somehow!  My husband is the great love of my life, my best friend, soulmate and all around good guy. He was my rock during our fertility struggles and is the greatest Papa and husband. He does a lot for Maddox, we seriously share the duties equally of caring for our newborn son. He changes as many diapers as I do, rocks him to sleep and he gets him ready every morning to go to day care. He bathes him quite regularly and is now finally getting a chance to feed him. I am so grateful to have such an involved husband and papa to my baby boy.  He does a lot for me too - brings me coffee in the morning while I lay in bed feeding the baby, makes dinner many nights a week, drives me to the train station when it's too cold for me to make the walk - he does a million of these little things that seem small, but mean so much.  He also has inspired me to be the best person and mother I can be. Thanks to you my wonderful husband!

Maddox - Oh where to start? My little man Maddox has only been in my life for almost 7 months but he has made such a huge impact. He is the light of my life, my greatest joy, my crowning achievement, he is my heart. He is just the cutest, most lovable, happy, cuddly, funny, silly, smart, strong and good little baby boy. I couldn't have dreamed up a better baby to have, I am just so proud and happy. I look forward to seeing him wave his arms and legs in the morning when he first sees me, he is so excited. I love to hold him close and feed him and feel his soft little head with all that hair. I love to see him smile, hear him laugh and coo, and see him do something new almost every day. I love to feel his head lay on my shoulder while I smell his sweet little head. He is just so precious. He is truly a gift from God and I am so thankful that I was so blessed. I love you little Maddox! 

Another milestone - Eating solids!

You're not supposed to eat the box! Hee hee. Maddox had his first taste of rice cereal on New Year's Day. He had no problem swallowing a lot of it. It was so much fun! He did a lot of grabbing at the spoon and tried to lean over and grab the bowl, but we managed to get him to open wide and swallow quite a bit. He made some faces along the way, like "ew, this is sour!". But, he seemed to like it as we gave him more. Yesterday, a week into rice cereal, I gave him peas. I mixed them into the cereal and gave him some straight up. He made more faces, but seemed ok with it. More peas today at lunchtime, oh yummy!!

6 months old!

Wow, how time flies... Our tiny little baby is 6 months old! He is such a wonderful little man! He is sitting up on his own no problem and if you put him on the floor on his tummy he is able to move all over the place by rolling and scooting on his tummy. He can spin in circles and back up pretty good. He will be crawling in no time and then I will really be in trouble! We need to start babyproofing the house!  He is reaching and grabbing at everything - we have to be careful about what is near him because it will definitely get knocked over or picked up and sucked on. He especially loves cups, books and magazines and mommy's hair.  He has the cutest laugh and still makes this cute sound like an owl, only really fast. He also likes to fake cough a lot, I think it is his way of letting us know that he wants something. He also likes to make razzing sounds with his lips and makes lots of drool fly around. He has just started eating rice cereal in the last 3 days - I will post about that soon as I have pics of that too. I took these pictures today, still practicing my skills as a photographer. Happy 6 month birthday Maddox!

Maddox's first Christmas

Maddox just loves presents! He loved holding the presents and pulling on the ribbons and especially chewing on the paper, yummy! We didn't get him much for Christmas, but he did get a lot from other people. He got some blocks and a remote control, two new uglydolls, a baby laptop computer, lots of new clothes, books, toys and a wagon from Aunt Mim that used to be Cousin Erin's. He also got a cute little Ty boy doll with spiked hair that looks like him and he loves it. I will have to take a pic of that soon. He won't remember this Christmas, but Mama and Poppa will and we had a great time.

Sitting up!

Christmas baby

Here are some pics I took for our Christmas cards which I am really hoping to get in the mail today. ;D Maddox can almost sit up on his own - for a few seconds or longer. He is growing up so fast!!! I am not ready for him to start moving around - crawling or walking. He can scoot around on his belly a little - in circles anyway and can roll from belly to front. He is using his hands like crazy now - he grabs at everything and can hold onto stuff pretty good. He seems to really like electronic things like the remote or the phone. He also loves to sit in my lap while I am at my laptop and bang his hands on the keyboard. We need to find him his own Mac! I really wish I could find him a stuffed or fake iphone, that would be awesome! 

We went to Berlin Christmas this weekend in Michigan and Maddox got to meet all his great aunts and uncles and cousins. It was a great time, except for the blizzard we had to drive home in! We made it home safely and are looking forward to a quiet Christmas at home.

Mr. Bigmouth

Christmas cousins

Mamie and Papa finally get to hold all their grandbabies at once! From left we have Tyler (5 months), Maddox (5 months), Scarlett (2.5 years) and Evangeline (8 months).

Here are the cousins all together! It was next to impossible to get them to all smile at once!

Here's Maddox with his new best cousin friend Tyler! They are only 2 days apart. Tyler lives in Mexico though, the lucky dog. We will have to visit often!

Maddox finally got to meet all his cousins!! Maddox and I traveled down to Austin, TX (yes, alone) to celebrate Thanksgiving and an early Christmas with the fam! Beau and Tiffany and their babies were visiting so I had to fly down there so we could all be together at once. It was a mad house! It was pretty crazy all of us staying together in one house. We were exhausted (and sick again) when we came home. Well, I was deathly ill, Maddox has only suffered a runny nose and now a minor ear infection, poor little guy! 

Maddox is a little chunk. He is a bit fatter than his cousin Tyler who was born 2 days after him, and is heavier than Evangeline who is 3 months older! I like him chubby though, there is more to hug and kiss and squeeze and love! 

We are headed to Orlando this weekend for my company Holiday party and are planning to take Maddox to Disney World. He won't remember, but since we are already going there we figured it would be entertaining for him anyway. I can't wait to escape this wintry weather! 

4 months old and YAY for Obama!!!

We celebrated Obama's victory and Maddox's 4 month milestone all at once! Our little guy is Mr. Patriotic - he was born on the 4th of July and he wouldn't go to sleep last night until he was sure Obama had secured his victory! He is weighing in at about 18 pounds now - it is getting harder to lug the carseat around! I am so proud of him though - he is a little cutie and a very good boy. He is "talking" more and more and has the cutest little laugh. He also loves to scratch his head and pull on his own hair (as well as mine). I am hoping to catch some of these cute things on video soon to share with you. His hair is as wild as ever as you can see below, but I really don't want to cut it! It is getting long on top and is hard to style, it just won't lay down right. He is able to push up his chest now during tummy time and has rolled over a few times. He loves to "stand" in your lap too and thinks it is so funny. He also found his feet last week - he loves to grab them and try to stick them in his mouth. They are just as good to suck on as his hands apparently. He really thinks it's funny when we stick his toes in his mouth and make a funny sound. We love trying to find new things that make him laugh - these little things are so wonderful!! I have a lot more photos I would like to share - I'll post some more soon...

Happy Halloween! Hoot Hoot!!

Silly faces!

Maddox has a very expressive face I think. Maybe most parents think this, but oh well. I just love all the looks he gives me! He has also started to stick his tongue out occasionally like his uncle Aaron. He is doing it in this photo with the sushi bib and giraffe. Maybe he is hungry for sushi! And doesn't he just look like a little man in his groovy bowling shirt? So frickin' cute! I love my tiny man so much! By the way, I weighed him on our scale today just to see where he is at and he weighs 17.8 pounds! What a chubby bub!

Pediatric Cardiologist gives the all clear. Whew.

We took Maddox to the pediatric cardiologist yesterday because the pediatrician has heard a heart murmur since around week 2. They did an EKG and an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart) and he says he is just fine! YAY!!!! We were a little worried and it is so good to hear that he is fine. It is just a functional murmur, which means it is just an extra sound they hear with no problem causing it. Babies sometimes have them because their hearts are close to the chest wall or something. I am just glad he doesn't have a hole in his heart or a problem with one of the valves.  He is also growing good and a very chubby happy baby! He is kind of a sweaty baby which was another reason we wanted him evaluated by the heart doc. He said that is not because of his heart. That is usually an indication of congestive heart failure, which he obviously doesn't have. I have read online that it is common for babies to be a little sweaty - they can't quite regulate their body temperatures exactly right yet. We are very grateful and glad that our little guy is all right. 

5 pounds of taco bell and my hair

So, what's new you're wondering? Well, for starters, I've got about 5 pounds of taco bell left to work off. It is frustrating to not be able to fit into all my clothes so I have been trying to lose weight since about 6 weeks post partum. I started running and ran every day for almost 2 weeks. Then, my knees really started to hurt so I stopped. Since then I've probably run more like once a week, which isn't enough of course. I've done a little pilates here and there, but nothing consistent. It is really hard to diet too when you are breastfeeding, I am so hungry for sugar! But, I have lost some weight which I am very happy about, but have a little ways to go to be happy with myself. My body is slightly different than it used to be so I want be lighter than I was before I got prego because of how things are just sagging a little more.

Ok, that's enough about that!

My hair started falling out about a week or two ago. I heard that happens a few months after giving birth. It is just really annoying to have hair all over my clothes and on the baby and on the floor and on the counters and on the bed and on my Mac. Maybe I should just chop all my hair off! NO! I am not going to do that. I do need to get a trim and get my hair highlighted, my hair just looks really nappy right now. ;D I just sound so pretty don't I? Being a mother is really hard on your body!

Maddox is doing just great! He loves going to day care. My day care provider Carrie has a 13 month old daughter, Sadie, and she is just a little cutie pie. Maddox loves to watch her play and I am sure they will become good little playmates. He probably likes it over there better than at home because she has so many toys to play with and I have practically none! He is 3.5 months old and mom is already boring! I did put together the activity center by Baby Einstein and sat him in it - he just started beaming at me because I was sitting on the floor next to him and we were at the same level. He can sit for a while in his bumbo chair now too and look around and play a little. He is just so darn cute, I can't stand it!!!! I am adjusting to being back at work all right. I miss him during the day and pumping kind of sucks, but it's going ok. I really look forward to seeing him at the end of the day and work days are kind of short on the quality time with him. He is hungry and sleepy when I get home so time with each other is short. But so far so good.

New look!

I finally came up with a new header for Maddox's blog! I wish I had more time to really rearrange everything and do something even better, but I don't. But, I am happy enough with this! Now the blog has boy colors and Maddox's owl. This blog is now about him, so might as well say that! I just love the little owl I drew - this was on his announcements too. Although I do have a couple of owls in his room, it wasn't really the main theme of his room. But, when he was born whenever he cried he hooted like a little baby owl - it was so sad, but so cute. So, now the owls really remind me of him. He is actually wearing a shirt today with an owl on it that we got at Old Navy. So cute! I'll have to take some pictures. He is three months old today, so I will be taking some new video and pics this weekend to mark the occasion. Maybe later after I get out of my pajamas though. :-D

I miss my baby...

He is in day care for the first time today and doing fine, but I am not! I really miss him! I am working at home today and it is just dragging by. Only 2 more hours...

12 weeks old and back to work

Here's some pics from the last few weeks. The first one is Maddox after he got his vaccinations. He was a trouper - we both cried, but he was fine afterwards. He got three shots in his big chubby thighs, hence the 3 band-aids!

Here's poppa, mama and maddox all out for a walk.

Tomorrow is my first day back to work. Sniff. :-( I am lucky to be able to work at home tomorrow and Tuesday though, so that will definitely ease the transition.  Tomorrow Maddox will be home with his daddy while Mommy works at home! I am going to try to pump all day and have Daddy feed him the bottle. At least I get to see him all day whenever I want to. He will go to day care all day on Tuesday even though I am working at home. I will take him over there in the morning and then probably drive down to the train station to see how the morning commute is going to be so I have the timing right and don't miss the train.

I am very conflicted about going back to work. On the one hand it will be nice to have a break from holding my baby all day - sometimes it is hard to be mommy all day every day and pay 100% attention to him. It will be good to get back into the work routine and back to normal life as I will know it now. But, I am going to miss my little guy so much! I am going to miss waking up together every morning and snuggling in bed all morning. I am going to miss feeding him all day long - I really love breastfeeding I have to say. It is such a warm fuzzy feeling to snuggle him and feed him. I love him so much! I am going to miss the way he smells and smiles and laughs at me. I am going to miss the way he kicks his legs all the time to get my attention. He is truly a ham and so fricking cute!!! But, every night and then of course Friday, Sat and Sunday he is all mine!!! I think this is going to be the hardest week yet of motherhood I have faced and I am not really looking forward to it. The last 3 months have been such a blessing and the best of my life. 

Maddox's first feature film

Okay, so like, Mac's rule! I made this film using a simple digital camera and iMovie on my Mac. So fricking easy it isn't even funny! I hope you enjoy seeing my little boy on film! This makes me cry when I watch it for some reason, I'm such a sap. 

2 months old!

Maddox is 2 months old and loves his monkey!

Here he is in his big boy pants!

Oooh, a cute little naked butt!

Look at me, I can pick up my own head!!

What a little cutie tootie if I do say so myself. For the last 2 weeks or so he has been sleeping longer at night - 7 hour stretches! I would say that is sleeping through the night darnit! I am not so sure how that is supposed to work with breastfeeding though, my boobs are so full when he finally wakes up, yikes. He is also looking around more and more and of course smiling more and more. His crazy hair gets lots of comments from people everywhere - that is usually the first thing people say "look at all that hair!". I swear I comb it down when it is wet, but it just pops back up. he is getting stronger and stronger and can lift his head up pretty high during tummy time, if only for a moment. In fact, one day last week - he lifted his head so high and kicked his foot at the same time, that he ROLLED OVER!! Whoohoo!!!! That was last Tuesday, but he hasn't done it since, so maybe just a lucky roll, hee hee. I have to go back to work in three weeks and I can't believe it is already getting so close, I am going to be so sad to have to leave him all day. I haven't been separated from him for more than 2 hours so far, so I am going to have major separation anxiety. I hope he adjusts easier than me to being with his new daycare momma, "miss carrie". I don't want to think about that just yet though. Sniff sniff.

7 weeks old!

I have been going hog wild taking lots of pics of the little guy with my new camera. I still haven't made it off the automatic setting, but I need to do some homework or take a class so I can go to the next level in my photography skills. But, these pics look pretty good anyway! What a darn cutie he is!! Of course I think that, I am his mother! 

He still isn't sleeping through the night, actually we've gone from sleeping for a good 4-5 hour stretch back to 3 hours at the most. Oh well, we will get on a good schedule eventually! I don't mind, he is such a joy! I can't believe I have less than 5 weeks left of my maternity leave, it really goes by fast and I am trying to enjoy every minute. But, I am already thinking about going back to work and it is making me very anxious. I know it will be alright, but I am going to miss him so much!! I am not that keen on the idea that someone other than me is going to be taking care of him so soon, but what can you do? He is only going to be in day care 3 days a week, so it won't be that bad. But, they will be long days because Daddy and me have long commutes to work. We are going to have to do something about that sometime. Anyway, I am going down to a 4 day work week and Rudy is working 4 10 hour days so he gets to be with his daddy on Monday and mommy on Fridays. 

I can't believe the summer is almost over too!! Jackson is back in school and is a junior this year! Time is just flying by. I don't have a newborn anymore either, he is almost two months old and is doing more and more every day. He can lift his head up pretty good when he is on his tummy during tummy time. One day he just picked up his head and started looking around! I was shocked! He could lift it a tiny bit, but then all of a sudden he can lift it almost 90 degrees! What a strong little boy he is! We are working on rolling over now - he needs lots of time on his tummy for exercise and get strong enough to roll over. I hope it happens soon, I am sure I will get a picture of it to share with you! Oh, I almost forget to mention the most important thing - he smiles lots now!! It is a true social smile - he smiles back at mommy and daddy when we smile at him. That is the best thing ever!!

I fell in love on the 4th of July: Part 2

It's about time I finished this story... So, we left off with me getting the epidural and feeling pretty darn great and about to drift off for a good nights rest. Wrong. I tried to rest but after a little while the nurse came in and informed me that I needed to adjust my position as the epidural works by gravity and I can't stay in one position for very long. My left leg was getting really numb. Great, so I am going to have to switch position every 30 minutes all night long, sounds restful! I tried to get rest in between, but after a while she was coming in an awful lot to move me. I have to say, I was pretty out of it all night and it was a big blur, but here's basically what happened. At some point the baby's heart rate started decelerating and my blood pressure was dropping and setting off the alarm. The nurse kept coming in and moving my position, studying the charts keeping track of the baby's heart rate and adjusting my pitocin.  Laying on my left side wasn't good for the baby, so I had to avoid that side.  There was one time that I actually fell asleep for a few minutes and was woken up (of course) to move. So, I basically got no sleep all night long. The nurse also had to turn down the pitocin because that seemed to be aggravating the baby and making his heart rate drop. I was also given an oxygen mask to wear at some point too to give more oxygen to the baby. Now, this all sounds really scary, but as I said, I was out of it and didn't really feel worried or anything. I think back and wonder why I wasn't freaking out! My mom was really worried and was asking the nurse all kinds of questions about why the heart rate was dropping - was the cord compressed? She didn't really answer - probably because she didn't know. The doctor was apparently sleeping and she just closely monitored me all night trying to keep labor moving along and keeping everyone safe.

By 5am or so after an entire night of the same changing position, oxygen and very slow progress, I was finally dilated to 8cm. As time went on, I could start to feel the contractions again, just a lot of pressure down there which was a good sign I guess, but didn't feel that great! The doctors were changing shift at 8am, and the new doctor was Dr. Martin who is a great doctor and really super nice - I really like him. He came in shortly after 8am and checked me again and I was dilated to... 8cm. Still. He sat on the bed and said he knows we probably don't want to hear this, but he recommends we do a c-section.  I had been stuck at 8cm for 3 hours, the baby was not progressing and further down the birth canal, and it was going on 20 hours since my water broke. He left us alone to talk it over and decide, although it didn't seem like we had a choice. I burst into tears of course. I was completely exhausted and even though I was still numb, my whole body felt sore. We agreed that we had to go through with it and when the doc came back in, gave him the ok. He said he would assemble a team right away. Within minutes there was a flurry of activity in my room. A nurse came in to shave me, the anesthesiologist came in to add medicine to my epidural and Rudy had to suit up in a crazy getup to go into the OR with me. My mom couldn't come into the OR also, so had to go out to the waiting room alone. 

In no time, they were wheeling me down the hall and I suddenly was extremely nervous. My mom started to cry walking down the hall, I felt so bad for her having to go out to the waiting room for who knows how long all by herself. I told her to not cry, I would be ok. My nurse was back from the day before and was wheeling me down the hall and started singing Madonna songs with me. I must have sounded like a drunken sailor slurring the words to Madonna - I was feeling pretty groggy, but I didn't care! She was really sweet doing that to get my mind off the impending surgery.  I had to go into the OR by myself while they prepped me and Rudy would join me when they were ready. I was feeling really, really nervous now. I have had surgery several times before, but never awake! What if the drugs didn't work? What if it hurt? Yikes! They gave me lots of drugs and in no time I couldn't feel anything between my boobs and toes. Rudy came in and they started. A few minutes into it, Rudy stood up, he wanted to watch! Yuck! He asked the doc if he could and he said yes, but the anesthesiologist wanted Rudy to sit down! A few minutes later I felt like my body was moving around, but no pain. In no time I heard a baby crying! The doctor said he was a big boy and the cord was around his neck, and the cord was short.  Maddox was born at 9:02am!! A nurse showed him to me for like a millisecond, then Rudy went over to where they were taking care of the baby.

The next hour was really hard. I didn't get to hold my baby, I hardly saw him and I had to lay there while they sewed me up. Rudy came back a little while later and showed him to me and I got to kiss his little face, but then they sent him to the recovery room. During the next 30 minutes or so, I felt like crap! I was shivering and cold and my heart was pounding so hard, I thought I was dying. I told the doctor this, but felt better soon after thank goodness. I don't remember much of this time to be honest, I was really tired and groggy. The drugs in the epidural do make you feel out of it if you ask me. I do recall my nurse scrubbing me all up to wash off all the betadine, she said she was sorry if it hurt, but I would thank her later because it is hard to wash off. I finally made it to recovery and Rudy set Maddox on my chest and I just hugged him and kissed him, I was so happy!!! I did get to breastfeed in the recovery room - it was hard, I was very groggy, had a hard time focusing my eyes and my boobs were numb!! But, he latched on right away and ate for a little while. They finally wheeled me up to my room and Rudy went to find my mom. I breastfed him again, then everyone left to go home and get some sleep and left me to get some sleep. It was probably noon by then. 

Rudy came back at 3pm or so with 2 dozen gorgeous yellow roses and big brother Jackson who got to meet his new little brother for the first time. We decided that Rudy should go back home and sleep that night at home so he could get some good rest as he hadn't slept in two days. That night, I started trying to sleep around 7pm and the baby went to the nursery. If you are tired, I highly recommend doing this. It was still really hard to sleep - I was hooked up to all these crazy contraptions. My bed changed position every so often, I had these blow up leg massagers on my legs that were massaging my legs all night and an IV pump that made a lot of noise. I managed to doze off in between feedings, but it was hard! The nurse brought Maddox back to me to eat every 3 hours or so. I really looked forward to seeing him even though I was really tired and didn't mind at all when they woke me up. I fed him around 10pm that night and as it was the 4th of July, we could hear the fireworks going off outside. The nurse opened my blinds and lo and behold, I could see the fireworks out my window!! The hospital is right next to the park where they shoot off the fireworks in Naperville. There was a building in the way, but I could see the edges of the fireworks. The nurse left us alone to cuddle and we watched the fireworks together. It was a really surreal, but special moment that I will never forget!! I finally was alone with my baby for the first time and that was when I literally fell in love with him. I have never been happier and am the luckiest mama! Welcome to the world Baby Maddox, I love you!!

10 lbs 8 oz and 22 inches long!

Baby Maddox is growing good! Actually he is in the 50th percentile, so average size/growth. Just right to me! He is looking chubbier and has actually grown out of the current diaper size of the seventh generation diapers. We are planning to switch to cloth diapers, but were waiting for him to be a little bigger to fit better into the one size bumgenius or happy heiny cloth diapers. Need to order more diapers though. I would like to try to at least do cloth part time - although I have to admit using the disposable is convenient, but I feel guilty! It will get spendy using the seventh generation diapers full time though I think, although I haven't really done any price shopping yet on diapers. 

Just in the last few days we have had some great milestones (I think). I pumped for the first time, although only got 1.5 oz out - it is hard because he wants to eat so often, when the heck am I supposed to pump? I need to get some advice from other moms on that one. But, daddy gave him his first bottle and he took it with no problem and drank it down in no time. 1. 5oz isn't enough and he was still hungry!! But, at least we know he will take a bottle. The pediatrician said we should keep doing it every once in a while so he won't reject them later. The other night I woke up around 4am to hear baby Maddox sucking away on his hand. He was perfectly content by himself in the cosleeper sucking away and kicking his little legs. I was like, whoopee!!! He is comforting himself!!! How cute!! Then I picked him up a little while later and fed him. But, he does pretty good by himself even when he wakes up in the middle of the night. During the day when he wakes up alone in the crib or bouncer seat he is very upset, but at night he is fine. Wierd! But, at least he is sleeping longer and doing good on his own. He is sleeping with me less and less. I know, I know, not good to have him sleep with me, but you do what you gotta do to get by, trust me. I need to sleep too!

1 month old!

Here's a photo I took of Maddox today with my new camera! Mommy is going to go crazy now taking photos with her new Nikon D60!

I swear I didn't photoshop this - Maddox says "peace"!

Here's a photo my Dad took last weekend - his hair was all cute and fluffy after his bath!

Maddie's first tub bath with Mamie and Mama! I can't remember exactly what day this was, but he likes taking tub baths way better than sponge baths!

I can't believe a whole month has gone by - my leave is 1/3 over! Sniff sniff! He is sleeping longer at night now - sometimes up to 5 hours at a stretch. He is also sleeping more in his cosleeper and less with Mommy. He smiles more often now and looks around and seems to be noticing the world a lot more. His hair is also getting longer - I think he is gonna need a haircut soon. I don't think I can bear to cut it though, I love his fluffy hair! He is also getting big - I take him to the doctor this week to get the official weight, but I weighed him on our scale at home and he is now over 10 lbs! He is gonna be a bruiser! He is filling out and his face and legs definitely seem chubbier. He sleeps pretty good in the car - the louder the music and bumpier the ride, the better. We are still breastfeeding 100% - but I am going to try pumping and introducing the bottle this week so Daddy can participate in feeding him. We'll see how that goes! So far, he is a really good baby and we love him to pieces!

I fell in love on the 4th of July: Part 1

This is the story of the birth of Maddox. My mom arrived on Monday, June 30, and after I got her safely home from the airport I thought for sure I would go into labor that night or soon after. After that didn't happen, I was on a little mission to get this baby out. On Tuesday evening, Rudy made his old standby dinner - sauerkraut and kielbasa. It was yummy, but I knew it would give me indigestion and my digestive system was already backed up and when it did try to move, let me tell you it was painful! My doctor on Wednesday said I was still dilated to about 1 or 1.5 cm and so we scheduled the induction for the following week which was a relief, but I really didn't want to wait that long! So, that evening we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner and I chowed on some hot wings - lots of them thinking that would move things along. The caribbean jerk wings were hot and tasty, but no baby that night.

The next day it was Thursday, July 3rd, my actual due date, and I was working all morning at home trying to finish up a project. Around lunchtime I sent out all my files via email to the project team and went upstairs to take a shower. Rudy and I also thought we would try one other thing to get labor going and let's just say it did the trick. (Use your imagination, but don't think about it too long, hee hee!!) A short bit later as I was laying in bed, lo and behold, I felt and yes, actually heard this popping sensation, then a flood on the bed. I was in shock at first - oh my goodness, this is it! I couldn't believe it!! Rudy was there with me when it happened and he was shocked too at first. Then he kicked into "Mister organization" mode. "Here's a towel" he says, "I am going to take a shower and then finish packing up. You can shower then". Yea, we weren't completely packed and we had a lot to do! All I could think was I needed to send emails to people and grab this and that and oh yea, call the doctor! We were SO EXCITED!!!! I actually got in the shower first so I could relax and wash my hair and attempt to shave my legs. Ha ha, yea, I actually shaved my legs. And let me tell you, shaving your legs when 9 months pregnant takes forever and is really difficult!! Every time I moved around, more amniotic fluid would come out. It seemed like I was losing a lot and it made me nervous. I couldn't feel Maddie moving, so I was anxious to get to the hospital. Rudy called the doctor while I was in the shower and they said we were to come in pronto because of the rupture. We weren't going to rush right over there - we wanted to clean up and get all our stuff together. Rudy also called my mom who was at the grocery store with Jackson and told her, so she came home and said she would make us sandwiches because once we got to the hospital, they wouldn't let me eat or drink anything. She was right, from the moment I arrived, all they let me have were ice chips. 

So, my water broke around 1pm - by the time we showered, shaved, packed, ate and emailed, we got to the hospital and were in our room by 3pm. I did start having contractions shortly after my water broke, they were pretty minor though, nothing too painful, but pretty regular at 3-5 minutes apart. But, they were definitely different than the Braxton-Hicks I had been having. There was more pain in the groin area, like my entire pelvic floor was contracting rather than my tummy. We started writing them down and they were coming pretty close together - about 3-5 minutes apart, but very mild and not painful at all really.

We arrived at the hospital and did the valet parking and went right up to labor and delivery and were in a room by 3pm. My nurse, Theresa (who was so cool), did the little test to make sure my amniotic sac had indeed ruptured (and yes, it had - duhh, I was gushing so much fluid it was freaking me out). Dr. Weeks was the ob/gyn on call that day and he came by and he checked me and I was still only dilated to 1.5 cm or so. The plan was to let me contract on my own until 6pm and then start pitocin if I wasn't making a lot of progress. So, I got off my butt and we went on a couple walks around the halls to get the contractions going. At 6pm they started the pitocin. I was still contracting on my own, but they were still around 3-5 minutes apart but not much stronger. They slowed down when I layed down and they wanted to get the labor going since my water had broken. The contractions got stronger and stronger and we switched from the deep, slow breaths to the faster "hee hee hee, whoo" breaths. The contractions were starting to hurt pretty good! But, they were manageable. Around 9pm the doc came and checked me and I was dilated to 3cm. He asked me if I wanted the epidural and I say "oh yea"! Rudy thought I should wait a little longer, but I didn't really want to experience contractions much worse than the ones I was having, and looking back it was a good decision because I was exhausted by the time I had him that having to suffer through more pain would have worn me out even more.  I think I was very lucky in that I didn't experience really hard, painful contractions. But, I got a tiny taste of what contractions were like and knew I didn't want to experience any more pain! The anesthesiologist came in and I got to experience one of the more unpleasant experiences of the night. I had to pee and asked if I could go to the bathroom before he put the epidural in, but he was in a hurry and had to go do a c-section next so said he would leave if I went to the bathroom. He was not a very nice guy I have to say and he proved it when he stabbed me in the back with the first shot to numb my back. I wasn't ready for it and he just jabbed it in all of a sudden and I jumped. Then he shoved the catheter in and I could feel it go in and up, it was a very weird and very unsafe feeling to have someone jerking something into my spine. I had a really hard time staying still. I was holding onto the nurse for dear life. Rudy left the room and let my mom stay with me during because they only wanted one other person in the room, but she had to sit across the room and couldn't really do anything anyway. Once it was in, I had instant relief - I did have one contraction during but it wasn't too bad. The epidural made me feel a little woozy, relaxed and numb! I didn't feel any pain at all until the next morning.  I couldn't even tell anymore that I had to pee. About 30 mins later, the nurse came in and put a catheter in so I could "pee". I couldn't feel anything and settled in to take a nice snooze all night long. Little did I know that I wouldn't sleep a wink!

Baptized on Sunday!!

Our little angel baby was baptized this past Sunday at our Lutheran church. His big brother Jackson is his godfather and my best friend Marcy is his god mother. We did this so quickly because my parents were in town and wanted them to be a part of it. Also in attendance was Rudy's mama. It went beautifully and then we all went to Meson Sabika for brunch. We got to sit in the same spot we sat on our wedding day for our reception - under the canopy of a tree. The weather was just wonderful and the food and company was perfect. Welcome to God's family little baby Maddox! We all love you so much!

My mommy left today...

And now I am on my own! I am going to be all alone with my baby tomorrow! I have to go back to see the doctor tomorrow too cuz my incision has been bothering me and isn't healing like it should - it is red and inflamed in two spots and in one spot it is oozing and bleeding a little. I hope everything is ok! I am going to have to take Maddie to the doc with me, should be a fun time!

Speaking of Maddie, he is just the sweetest baby and I love him sooooooooooo much. I burst into tears every once in a while just overwhelmed with how lucky I am and how much I love him. It actually hurts! I can't believe I waited this long (and it took this long) to become a mother. It is the best (and scariest) thing in the world and I want another one! I am listening to him sleep - he is making these cute little baby noises with every breath - he is a very noisy baby. He moans and almost hums in his sleep and when he is eating. He can be especially loud at 2am and wake Daddy up, oops! The best sound he made was early on when he would cry, he would hoot like a little owl. It was just the cutest sound in the world, I almost want to let him cry just so I can hear that cute little hoo hoo sound. 

I am working on writing up the story of his birth and just haven't had time to finish it, but it is coming soon. I also have more pics to share, keep checking back for more! Lots of love to everyone for all their good wishes, gifts, cards, flowers and help during this special time. Thank you!

Sleepy smile

I caught Maddox smiling in his sleep - well, more like smirking! He is so fricking cute I can't stand it! He looks very mischievous here though, what have I gotten myself into?

40 weeks belly shot

Just wanted to get my last belly shot up here - should've posted it before the baby announcement, but I couldn't help myself!! This is literally minutes before we left for the hospital, so my water had already broke. It looks kind of square in the photo, hee hee, weird!

Introducing... Maddox Berlin Benco - our 4th of July baby!

Twenty hours after my water broke, Maddox came into this world via emergency c-section. He arrived at 9:02am on the 4th of July. He weighed 8 lbs, 1 oz and is 20 inches long. He is a very sweet baby who has caught on to breastfeeding very well. I love his full head of hair and his chubby round face. He is just perfect to me, the biggest blessing of my life and I am so lucky!!!! 

My water broke!!!!!!

It happened about an hour ago and we are heading to the hospital now... Can you believe it happened right on my due date? Crazy! Maybe he will be a July 4th baby!! I'll post an update when I can....

1 day left! Induction scheduled...

I can't believe my countdown ticker says there is 1 day left! It is so crazy that my due date is finally arriving. Although, I am not so sure the baby is going to arrive anytime soon. I saw the doc today and she said I am still dilated 1cm - maybe 1.5. Whoop dee doo. She said she would try stripping my membranes to get things going, but my cervix was so soft she didn't think it was necessary. I did lose my mucous plug last night though. Not to get too gross on you, but I got up in the middle of the night and there was a goobaly mess on the toilet paper. (Goobaly is a medical term.) But, as with most of the signs of labor it doesn't mean much except gee, I might deliver in the next day or the next 2 weeks! So, thank goodness, my female OB decided to schedule my induction for next week - 1 week past my due date. The male doc I saw last week wanted to wait for 1.5 weeks past, ugh! So, I am scheduled to go for induction next Wednesday, July 9th at 6pm. 6pm? Well, they will apply a prostaglandin gel to my cervix when I get there and let it sit overnight. Then, start pitocin the next morning. The nice thing is that I asked my doctor to schedule it when she is going to be there to deliver me. So, I wouldn't have to worry about having another doctor deliver me! Yay! Although, I could go into labor at anytime between now and then, so you never know! I hope I go into labor some time in the next few days on my own, because I really don't want to be induced. We will see what happens! I will keep you posted...

Still 1 cm...

Saw the doc on Friday and I am still dilated 1 cm and 70% effaced. But, anything can happen at any time! The doc felt the baby and thought he seemed "very long and narrow". So, duh, he is tall and skinny like his daddy!. But, he guessed that he was around 8 pounds, which isn't too bad. This is just a guesstimate, it wasn't a very scientific measurement of the baby. I just hope I have him in the next week so he doesn't end up being 9 pounds +!

The Braxton Hicks are happening every once in a while. I've had maybe 8 or so today, but I've been pretty active cleaning the house and doing laundry, some days I don't have any. My mama is coming tomorrow, so had to get the house all clean and get a little more organized. I have been waiting until my mom got here, then I can have the baby anytime after that! I'd say we are very ready to go to the hospital at any time! Well, I do need to finish packing my suitcase, I've got a few things in there, but it's not complete. I need to get some snacks for Rudy and myself and throw my toiletries, robe, slippers and the breastfeeding pillow in there. I really hope I am at home when the time comes, because then I can finish throwing everything in there. I should be, but I am going to try to go to the office on Tuesday. I am trying to work until I go into labor. I am praying that I go into labor in the next week, I really don't want to have to work past this week. The doc said if I don't go into labor on my own, they will probably induce me two weeks from tomorrow. I said TWO WEEKS??? I can't wait another two weeks, I am ready now! Maybe my female doc will say different when I see her this wednesday. I am thinking I will have him within a couple of days either side of my due date. At least I hope that is what happens! Pray for him to come out safely in the next week or so!

39 weeks...

Helllooooo big mama! I didn't think my belly was that much bigger than it was in the last few weeks, but in the pictures it does look bigger! It is hard to tell when it is your own body. But, I do think I am looking pretty chubby everywhere - especially my face, ugh. Only 1 more week! I was still dilated to 1 cm last Friday at my doc appt, but found out that I am 70% effaced. So, at least there is something going on, maybe tomorrow I will have made more progress. I see the doc tomorrow at 8am, so will post an update after that.

I am to the point where I am pretty uncomfortable and cumbersome. Walking is a chore and it hurts all over. My internal organs feel smashed like pancakes and nothing is working right, but I'll just leave it at that. I am pretty ready to not be pregnant anymore! It does get hard at the end, just like they say. I only have a few more things I need to do before this baby can come out. I am waiting until my mom gets here on Monday, and then I will be really ready. I am feeling pretty excited about meeting this little man - but I bounce from excited to scared to denial and back all the time. I am still working - from home today, tomorrow and Monday. If nothing is happening I may show my face in the office next Tues/Wed. I don't want to be seen as a slacker!

I still have a lot of things to blog about, but haven't gotten around to it. Another blog I read reminded me of all the decisions you have to make while pregnant - and there are a few I haven't shared with you that I keep meaning to. I am referring to breastfeeding, diapers, childcare, my work schedule, etc. I will post about this soon, I am tired now and ready for some zzzzzzzzzz. Good night!

I am dilated to 1 cm!

Just saw the doc and I have started to dilate - 1 whole cm. Cool! Not that I will be going into labor soon or anything, but it's nice to know I am making some progress! Only 9 more cm to go!

Nursery update: fabric choice

I know I have been slow in the nursery updates, but it has taken me a lot longer to accomplish some of these projects! I can at least show you the fabrics I chose for the nursery, although, they might seem off the wall without seeing the final projects. I finally finished the quilt this past weekend and it turned out just ok. It was a lot more challenging of a project than I expected, but sewing always seems to turn out that way. I don't have any pics to show you yet of the quilt, but expect to see some soon. I also (almost) finished painting the mural on the wall (thanks Marcy for the good kick start!). I think I want to add a little more to the walls though, so am not revealing that yet. It will probably still be a while before the entire nursery is finished -Rudy is building bookshelves which probably won't be done for another month or so, but I kind of want to wait to reveal the entire nursery until everything is done and in the room. But, I will share little tidbits along the way including the above fabrics!

These fabrics are by Etsuko Furuya from the Echino line. They are from a japanese designer and I fell in love with them when I saw them on reprodepot.com. They are very kooky - from afar, the damask looks very traditional, but up close it is filled with animals, bugs and skulls. Yes, skulls. I am also using the damask in green and purple, as well as a basic black and white polka dot fabric. When you see the quilt you will see all these fabrics come together! I couldn't resist the purple fabric with the birds on it either, so mixed it with the damask - it is working out pretty good. Well, that is all for now! I am off to the doctor now for my 37 week appointment.

36 week update

I saw the doc today and she did a more "invasive" exam. I am not dilating at all yet, but my cervix does feel soft! She thinks I will be dilated a little by next week, but who knows. I was also put on the monitor for 20 minutes - they call it a "non-stress" test for the baby. They just monitor the baby's heart rate while he is moving to make sure he isn't under any stress. This is a test for old ladies over 35 like myself. Everything is looking good! I am getting a little anxious for this phase of motherhood to be over - it is getting harder and harder to get around and sleep and I am tired! Luckily, my back has felt a little better this week so I am doing pretty good overall. Only 4 more weeks!

36 weeks belly shot

I don't think I look much bigger than a couple weeks ago.

35 weeks today, 35 days left to go...

And I am 35 years old! Weird! I think I need to play the lottery with those numbers! Part of me can't believe I only have 35 days to go - on the other hand, 5 weeks sounds like a long time. I am ready now! My back is still killing me - physical therapy has helped a little - but I still have moments where I am just totally miserable. But, I do have more moments where I am ok - just ok. I am pretty sure I will have to live with the back pain for the next 35 days - so, will just take it one day at a time.

I am now getting kicked in the ribs - my belly has officially reached the bottom of my rib cage. I can't imagine getting bigger than I already am! My skin is itchy and the whole top of my belly is pretty sore at the end of the day - probably from the squirmy, kicky little guy in there! He is pretty active - my belly looks like I am belly dancing sometimes - it is so fun to watch!

Oh - funny story. I went to get into my car yesterday morning and my dear hubbie had draped a garbage bag and towel over my seat. Haha!! He is so cute! He learned that in childbirth class last week. (FYI - it's just in case my water breaks in the car, I won't ruin the lovely leather seats). I had to laugh though because not only was the bag and towel over the bottom of the seat -it was tucked under the headrest covering the whole back of the seat too. I hope I don't explode amniotic fluid beyond my seat!!

33 weeks, 4 days belly shot

I haven't posted a pic in a while, so here you go! Only 44 days to go and I am getting very excited! We started our childbirth classes on Sunday, very informative. I can't wait to meet this little guy face to face and wish my due date was here already. But, I don't want him to be born early, so I will wait for another month and a half to slooooooooooowwwwwwlly tick by. I am trying to take this one day at a time as it is getting harder and harder to move around, sleep and work with all this baby stuff on my mind and extra weight in my belly I have to carry around. I still have so much to do!!! I wear out really quickly doing anything and need to lie down frequently because my back is still really bad. I think it has made a small improvement as long as I sit in a reclined position with my feet up. But doing anything causes my back to start hurting after a short bit. I am a mess! We went out to dinner on Sat night and that was the last time I am doing that - sitting in a chair eating is the worst possible place for my back. I can't tolerate it for long. 

Yesterday I was leaving work and just coming out of my building when I ran into my fertility doc! It was weird because I couldn't place him right away - seeing him out of context threw me - so I looked at him and he looked at me with a small flicker of recognition and then we passed and I realized who he was. I wish I would have realized sooner so I could have said "Hey Dr. Miller!! Thank you so much for my baby boy!!!" I haven't seen him since the day he did the embryo transfer and made me stand on my head! hee hee, I bet he would have liked to hear that everything is going ok, even though he probably really doesn't remember me.  What a fulfilling, yet busy job he has, giving couples babies they may have never otherwise conceived.  Probably a really stressful job though too to have so much responsibility.

Thank you for my baby shower!

Thank you Marcy for throwing me an awesome baby shower! I had a great time! Thank you to everyone who came and also to those who had to travel long distances, I really appreciate that you came so far. I love you all! 

30 week u/s - our tiny man

Look at that chubby face! Oh, I can't wait to kiss his chubby little cheeks all over! I think he has his Daddy's lips - they are bigger than my lips! But that wide little nose looks all Swedish to me! Hee hee. I think he is so cute and I can't wait for him to come out!

The u/s went good - he is doing just fine. He currently weighs an estimated 3 lbs, 4 oz. which falls right about average. He is going to come out in 10 weeks - I am so excited! The only sort of bad news though was that the placenta is riding kind of low. It is 2.5 centimeters from the cervix which is in the gray zone. If it was 2cm or less, I would definitely be having a c-section. If it is 3cm or more, I am safe going through a regular vaginal labor and delivery. Since I am in the middle, they will have to determine when I am in labor if it is safe to delivery naturally. They can tell if I am having more bleeding than usual, or the baby isn't faring well during labor. Isn't that just great? I hate being in the gray zone! So, now I have something else to worry about now. But, the baby's head is pointed down already so that is good anyway!

Gall bladder all clear!

You are probably like, say what? Well, the chiropractor I was seeing thought I may have gall bladder problems because I have been having pain in the front right side under the rib cage as well as the back pain. The gall bladder could have had stones or be infected in some way and this can lead to referred pain the in back. But, apparently, it was vice versa. My back is causing nerve pain that appears not only in my back but wraps around my side and into the front. I am having burning pain in the front as well as numbness there. I know my gall bladder is all good because I had an ultrasound of it last week. They also scanned my pancreas, aorta, spleen, liver and kidneys, so I know those organs are all good! Whew! I also got to see a glimpse of the baby on u/s. His head is down apparently - so all these limbs and parts that stick out on the right must be his tiny little baby butt, or his feet. I saw his hand move too - so cute! It was a very brief look at him to check his heartbeat. We have our 30 weeks u/s today so I will have a lot more info on where he is and how big he is, etc. I am hoping to have some great pics to share with you too! I am very excited!

So, I am currently seeing a new physical therapist who specializes in pregnant women. The last one I saw didn't seem to know much about pregnancy and was asking me if it was ok to do certain exercises, etc. Like, who is the expert here? This new therapist did a thorough examination of my spine and told me exactly what was wrong and now we are working on fixing it. Thank goodness, because I don't know how much more of this back pain I can take! Basically, my spine is twisting to the right. It starts in my lower back, but by the time it reaches the mid back where my pain is, it has rotated way out of whack. I have pain in my tailbone area too after sitting for a while - because that is affected as well. I am going to a "women serving women" physical therapy clinic which I highly recommend. They specialize in women's needs, such as pregnancy, and really know their stuff! I have only seen her 3 times now, and probably won't see total relief for a couple more weeks, but I will keep you posted on my progress.

My uterus is showing!!!

I've noticed people looking at my belly out in public.  It's kind of weird - I mean, my uterus is so big now that it is sticking way out and people can see it! hee hee. So, here is a more revealing photo of my belly and me. We took a bunch of photos on the beach in Puerto Rico and I will share some of them with you. However, we lost some of them - long story - but I still have a few to show. I hope you don't mind seeing me in a bathing suit! I just look very round! :-D

Puerto Rico belly shots - 27 weeks

I have lots of belly shots from Puerto Rico to share with you. I will try to share one every day or every couple of days. Here is the first one! We had just had a great dinner at a place called Pamela's on the beach. I look pretty round in this dress, but it is very comfy!

Belly perspective

Here is another perspective on my swelling belly. I took this photo on a whim in Puerto Rico and it is one of my favorites! We were sitting on a park bench in a square in front of Cafe Berlin (just a little restaurant in Old San Juan that bears my maiden name). Berlin will probably be our little man's middle name by the way.

It's amazing how wrapped up in this whole baby thing you can get. Before, I was so wrapped up in getting pregnant and those mostly painful memories have really faded (thank goodness) and been replaced with all the joys and pain of carrying this new life inside me.  However, the feelings of struggling with infertility do not completely go away. I still feel like I've been singled out and can't quite join the crowd of happy pregnant people. There are always these thoughts in my mind of resentment towards other people who seem to have it so easy and take it for granted. And, I told myself over and over how thrilled I would be to get pregnant that any amount of suffering during pregnancy, childbirth and those sleepless nights beyond would never compare to the pain of not knowing if I would ever even be a mother. But, in the midst of this pregnancy, I find myself doing a lot of complaining about how much my back hurts or how many times I wake up at night to go to the bathroom or to move (because my back hurts!). Being pregnant is difficult, there is no doubt about it. It must be this way to prepare you for what is to come - being a mother. But, I've already suffered dammit! Don't get me wrong, I am still enjoying being pregnant. When he kicks me after I sing him a song, or rub some little part of him sticking out, my heart just swells with joy! I love looking at my belly and knowing that I am growing this life inside me. It is a wonderful feeling too to have a piece of my husband growing inside me because I love him so much! 

I don't want to say that my pregnancy is any more special than anyone else's, but it sure is special to me! This is the biggest blessing of my life and I am so looking forward to more backaches, sleepless nights, crying babies, and all the other joys and pains of motherhood.

Easter belly - late I know!

I know I owe you some belly pics! This first one is from Easter Sunday - so 25 weeks, 4 days. The second one is just a week later at 26 weeks, 3 days. I have a lot of great belly photos from our trip to Puerto Rico and promise to share some of the good ones soon!

99 days til D-Day!

Only 99 days to go! I have so much to do and so little time. Actually, I wish I was closer to the end because my back is killing me and it will probably only get worse. I have been very tired the last few days - work is a little more intense lately and we have a lot going on. Rudy is working his butt off and so he is tired too. Thank goodness we are leaving for vacation this Saturday!! I can't wait!

The kick and rub game

Me and my baby are communicating!! He recently started sticking out a limb of some sort that I can feel on the outside. It looks like a lump is coming out of my belly or something. Anyway, last night, he was sticking something out and so I started rubbing it and talking to him. Then I stopped rubbing. And he kicked me. So, I started rubbing again. Then stopped. Then he kicked me again! Like, "mooooommmmm! don't stop rubbing me!!" It just warmed the cockles of my heart - we are communicating! I am so excited! This went on for a while and was so much fun. I can feel him kicking me now all over - it's hard to tell what's what of course, but I just love when I can feel some little part of him against my skin. He is going to be spoiled with massages by the time he comes out! This is the fun part of being pregnant and I am enjoying it!!!

The baby's dresser!

The baby's dresser arrived today! It is so awesome, this picture doesn't do it justice. It matches the crib just perfectly. The top and sides are white and the drawers are mocha stained maple. It's really nice from Room and Board. I love Room and Board! We also got a changing tray that matches to go on top - it takes up about 2/3 of the top of the dresser leaving just enough room for a lamp or a place to put all the diaper changing supplies. Oooooohhh, I can't wait to get the room all together and show you!

22 weeks, 4 days belly pic

Wow, what a difference a few weeks makes! I am starting to look kind of fat in the face too. Finally, my belly has a nice roundness to it. It is much more fun to actually look pregnant, I must say!

The nursery plans: the crib!

I will be sharing with you in upcoming posts the plans for the nursery! I am very, very pumped about designing this room for our little bundle of joy. After much deliberation, negotiation and research - we have purchased the first item for the nursery: the crib! This is the Stokke Sleepi crib - an oval crib (duh) that is very convertible, good for the environment, and meets my approval for a modern crib. Rudy really wanted this crib - I had other ideas, but we compromised because I am picking out everything else! This crib is pretty cool though - you can park it in the middle of the room, or against the wall. And, it has wheels so we can wheel it into our bedroom for a while when he is making the transition from the cosleeper to the crib. I am so excited!!! Rudy really likes it because with some conversion kits, it converts to a toddler bed, a junior bed and then you can take the ends off and they become chairs. Crazy! So, hopefully it will get years of use. I am just glad it came in this dark walnut stain -as it will match the dresser we are getting from Room and Board. But, that is for another post... When I get the crib I can start making the bedding - yippee!!! I can't wait to get the nursery all done - this is so much fun!

Pregnant moment

I have had a few pregnant moments, but the one from this morning is the best so far! I stopped and got the mail this morning on my way to work. We have one of those neighborhood mailboxes with a bunch of mailboxes all together in one place. Well, my neighbor just emailed me and said her husband saw me get the mail and then leave the mailbox door wide open with the key in it! HAHAHAHA! I just had to laugh, I am such an idiot! I was on the phone with Rudy at the time and must have been in a hurry to get back in the car, but duhhhhhhhhh... Thank goodness for nice neighbors who watch your back!

our little baby...

So, as promised, here is one pic from our last ultrasound when we found out he is a boy. This is a 4d shot done at the perinatologist. He has his left arm wrapped around his neck and you can see the umbilical cord sticking out of his little tiny tummy. He is kicking up a storm now and is around 10 inches long. We can't wait to meet him!!!

19 weeks, 3 days

Here is a clothed pic of my belly. Granted, we just ate dinner for Rudy's birthday, so I probably look a little bigger than normal. You can see a roundness to my abdomen that I hope looks like a prego girl and not just a girl who ate too much cake. Cuz, I have eaten too much cake and other stuff. ;) I am calling it the airline pillow right now. I hope it starts looking like a basketball soon! I will take a naked belly photo soon...

Oh, my aching back...

You'd think I was full term, carrying a 10 pound baby with the aches and pains I have! My back has been giving me trouble since last week. I am having trouble sitting at my desk - which I do all day everyday for work. I hunch over my laptop and work work work. I even have one of those fancy Herman Miller office chairs and I am still dying! I have since readjusted it the best I can and moved my laptop onto the keyboard tray so I can get everything lined up the best I can. It helps a little bit. I have to sit up perfectly straight with my belly against the tray so I can reach the keyboard properly. What am I gonna do when my belly starts getting in the way? I am willing to try anything - yoga, chiropractor, physical therapy, exercise, massage, anything!!! Somebody please tell me what to do... Every night I go home and lay on a heating pad or take a bath. (Yes, my doc said it was ok to do this!)

Speaking of yoga - I started taking prenatal yoga last Saturday. It was great! I think it may help with my back and of course with delivering this bouncing baby boy. The instructor even rubbed lavender aromatherapy on our feet at the end, it was pretty darn relaxing. This is the kind of exercise I can handle. I was fricking sore afterwards though - I overdid it on the stretching. It didn't hurt when I was doing the moves, but I guess I overstretched a little. It felt so good to do it though and I feel fine now. I am going back again this Saturday! I just need to get up off my butt and do a couple other things too, like walk on the treadmill or take another class somewhere. I would like to take water aerobics or something like that, I am looking into it. Now is the time to do whatever I have to do!

Rudy and I went shopping on Saturday and bought a bunch of clothes for our baby son. Son, I am going to have a son! That is so weird to say!!! Macy's had a great sale and we bought lots of typical baby stuff - sleepers and onesies all in pretty boy pastel colors with giraffes and animals and frogs and sailboats on them. We got a really cute baby blue velour tracksuit from Ralph Lauren - Rudy had to have it and of course I couldn't resist. I had picked up the hip hop Adidas track suit first, but we settled on the velour. It is so small and so fricking cute!!!!!!! We got him his first pair of khaki cargo pants at the Gap too - everything is so tiny and cute. And, of course we got him his first socks - these trumpette baby camo socks - they are so little, but so darn cute. Now I have to go out and find him some more stylish baby clothes - I am thinking more along the lines of rock and roll baby wear, no more of this pastel baby stuff!!! Ohhhhh - I love it all, it is all so darn irresistible!!

What will our baby boy look like?

His Daddy?

His Mommy?

Hee hee, aren't we cute? Rudy was 14 months in this photo of him, I am only 6 months. I hope baby boy looks like his Daddy with those pudgy cheeks, wait, I mean pudgy everything! His pa called him 'porkchop' cuz he was so chubby. But, look at those big dimples! Did I mention that Rudy weighed about 10lbs at birth? Ouch!

I'm a boy!

It's official and there is NO doubt about it, it's a boy! Now I can go on a shopping rampage and buy all the coolest, cutest most awesome baby boy clothes I can find. Watch out! I am going to stimulate the economy singlehandedly with my shopping excursions! I just ordered some fabric today for the bedding. Yes, I am going to make it myself. I kind of have to because we are getting an oval crib and the choices for bedding are very limited. I am also very, very, very picky and have to design this all myself because that's what I like to do. I am not 100% sure in my head how it is going to turn out yet, but I am working on it and will share the details with you. You see, I kind of had my heart set on a baby girl, so had the girl nursery all worked out. But, now I have to go down the boy path and figure that out. But, we are happy to be having a very healthy, sweet little baby boy.

I have some ultrasound pictures to post, but I left them at grandma's, so will do it when I get them back.

High kicks!

Wow, I just got my first real big kick!! That was so cool! I have been feeling some movement infrequently for the last 2 weeks or so, but this was for sure a real live kick! It was on the left down about 3 inches or so below the belly button. That felt so weird, but so awesome! There is a real baby in there and she is kicking her mama around! The movement up until now felt more like water in the pipes or little bubbles. One time it felt like I was going down a big hill on a rollercoaster, ya know where your stomach flips over? Very cool. Only 4 more days and we will know for sure if it is a 'she' or a 'he'. I can't wait!! Keep kicking me little baby!

Our Babymoon is booked!

This is our last chance to get away for a while and to take Jackson (my stepson) somewhere fun on Spring Break! We are going to Puerto Rico for 8 days the first week of April. I can't wait to just relax in the sunshine and read a book. This is the pool at the hotel we are staying at. I don't think we will be going on vacation anytime soon with a new baby, so had to push for a week away this spring. This is another thing to look forward to to get through this very dismal, cold and snowy winter! It is just ridiculous, the weather has really sucked in Chicagoland. It has snowed almost every week it seems like since before Christmas! Last night it was a horrible blizzard, got down to 20 below (windchill) and the snow was blowing sideways. Bika the dog would NOT go outside to do her business, she put her brakes on as soon as we opened the door. Jackson and I pushed her out the door and she squatted right on the stoop and peed. Silly doggie! I really can't blame her though, if I had to do that outside, it would probably never happen! So, in two months my belly will be bigger and maybe a little browner! Can pregnant ladies get a tan? More questions for the doc...

Christmas bellys - Katrina and Shannon

I know what you are thinking. Why is your belly bigger in this pic at Christmas than it is now? I was pushing it out to look like I had more of a belly, ok? I wanted to look more pregnant in this photo with Shannon. It wasn't hard to do considering we just ate Christmas dinner! This is my sister in law who is due on April 7th. There is just more bloating going on in my belly here than usual, but the pic is cute because I look more prego! I just wanted a picture of our prego bellys together. Aren't we just so cute?

17 weeks belly shot

I will be 17 weeks tomorrow and here's how I look! Not much of a belly to speak of. I just look a little chubby and thick in the waist. I have only gained about 6 or 7 pounds so far, so there must be some baby in there, not just flab! I had a pic from 10 weeks and it doesn't really look much different than this, weird. I guess I am just slow to show. I thought for sure I would have a big belly by now, but gals, you just don't show as quickly as you think when you are pregnant for the first time! I am wearing maternity clothes now because my regular clothes are just too tight and uncomfortable. I did some shopping recently and bought a bunch of stuff - almost all of it on sale! Now is a good time to shop, I got some great deals and some really cute clothes!

If you look really close at my left eye (the eye on the right in the pic), it looks pink. I have unfortunately managed to contract a new autoimmune disorder in my eye called iritis. Lucky me! It was soooooooooooo severely painful, I have not felt pain this bad before. I was basically blinded the last couple days - I couldn't open my eyes if there were any lights on or if it was daytime without getting a sharp pain in my eye sort of like being hit in the face with a baseball bat. Ouch, I am not kidding, it was pretty bad. And worse during the night, I would wake up with this throbbing, pounding horrible pain behind my eye. All I could do was put ice on it to make the pain subside. Well, thank goodness the opthalmologist figured out what it was and gave me the right steroid eye drops, it feels so much better today, but is still red as you can see. It can take up to 8 weeks to completely go away. I hope it doesn't last that long, but as long as I can see and go to work, I will get by. My vision is blurry in that eye which is really annoying. Being blind really is tough. I was so bored, there is literally nothing to do other than listen to the tv or talk to other people and I just layed in bed and did nothing! It is hard to get around the house when you are not used to not seeing. I just stayed in bed and thank goodness Rudy stayed home yesterday to take care of me. Well, pray for my eye to heal quickly so I can stop taking these eye drops, they are not technically approved for during pregnancy. But, I had no choice. Go blind in my left eye, or get better and have a very remote chance of something happening to the baby. This is a totally different topic, and I have already made my choice, but it was not easy. I just pray I don't have to take these drops for much longer.

Well, 2 more weeks and we get to find out the sex of the baby!! We are going to start buying the baby furniture soon. I can't wait to share all the baby room decorating with you!

1st trimester screening results

Just thought I'd update you with the exact numbers from the first trimester screening.

Downs syndrome: 1/1699 chance of baby having downs
Trisomy 18/13: 1/9281

That is much better than the usual statistics for my age range - (1/300) for downs, so the doc says this is a normal result and very good! The trisomy 18/13 is another chromosome problem they test for, but don't know anything about it other than that.

Like I said, we aren't doing any more tests like this - no amnio, no nothing, because nothing would prevent us from having the baby anyway. So, yay, this is a little load off our minds.

I am a bad blogger :-( 15 week update

Sorry to have skipped out on you. I was very busy (lazy) during the holidays and haven't gotten around to updating you on my progress. Well, I am 15 weeks today! Whoopee!! I still don't look pregnant and don't feel any movement yet, but it is still early for that I suppose. I just want to have a big ole belly, but instead I just look thicker around the waist. I do have a picture I took a while back, but never posted because I just look fat and what is the point of that? I promise to start posting belly pics when I actually have a real looking prego belly. I am not fitting into my clothes anymore, I wear them with the button unbuttoned. I do have some maternity pants I can wear now though, but they kind of fall down a little. This in between stage is tough, who knew it would last for half my pregnancy? Sheesh!

I saw the doc on Jan 2 and everything is fine. The baby's heartbeat was 148 and the first trimester screening results came back normal. They give you the results in terms of "1/300 chance that the baby will have down's syndrome or other chromosomal abnormality". That is the actual number for my age range, but my results came back better than that, I just don't know what the exact number is yet. That reminds me I have to call the doc's office to get the exact number. We aren't planning to do any more testing on this baby, we are having him/her regardless of any problems. I am having a level 2 ultrasound on Feb 4 with the perinatologist though. My OB wants them to follow me because of the antibody thing. Oh yea, I suppose I should mention that. We got a bunch of non-answers from the perinatologist about that. They don't know what the antibody is and don't think there will be any problems. It is possible that the baby could become anemic, which is why we are doing the level 2 u/s at 18 weeks or so. But, he didn't really think that would happen. They are going to test my blood every month to monitor me though. So, I guess I don't have much to worry about. Yea right!

The good news is that on Feb 4th we should find out the sex of the baby! YES!! I can't wait!

11 weeks today!

Almost out of the first trimester, but not without any anxieties or aches and pains. My OB called last week to inform me that all my labs came back normal except for one. The antibody screen showed that I have antibodies in my blood for ALL blood types rather than just the blood types I am not. Or something to that effect. It doesn't make much sense to me! He said I am fine the baby is fine, however he really doesn't know what the consequences are for the baby at this time. This could cause me to be anemic - which I'm not, my hemoglobin was 13.5, apparently ok. Or, maybe the baby could become anemic. He says this is a rare occurrence and he is researching the subject. But, in the meantime he is sending me to the perinatologist to be evaluated and followed throughout my pregnancy. A perinatologist is a specialist in maternal-fetal medicine and handles high-risk pregnancies. Yikes! I have an appointment next Wednesday, Dec 19th, so will keep you posted. In the meantime, I have been trying to read up on the subject, but alas, there isn't much to find on the internet. I will just worry about it then. Oh, I also scheduled a first trimester screening ultrasound with the perinatologist since they do those and I was going there anyway. This will screen for downs syndrome and other problems. Not that we would do anything about it if we found something out, we refuse to terminate the pregnancy.

On another topic, I took a pic of my belly at 10 weeks, 4 days, but I just look fat! So, I may post it, but it's not very exciting and a little embarrassing to show off a flabby belly that just looks like I ate too much Chipotle. Heh. I am not sleeping too well lately - I can't fall asleep at night even though I feel exhausted and I wake up when Rudy gets up at 4:30am and can't go back to sleep. It really sucks! I hope this passes soon or I am going to have to start taking naps at work.

I hope you all are done with your Christmas shopping - I am almost done, but am doing the remainder online so it isn't too painful. I also have aspirations of writing a nice Christmas letter to send out, but don't hold your breath on that one. I can't remember the last time I actually mailed Christmas cards. I've bought them for the last few years though - or materials to make them, but it never actually happened. Oh well, I can only do so much! I can't believe a whole year has passed since last December when I was just starting all the tests with the fertility doc. I thought for sure I would be pregnant earlier this year, but I am so grateful that we finally did it! Being pregnant is the best thing that has ever happened to me and the best Christmas present ever!

Belly photo #1: 4 weeks, 3 days

So this is me right after we found out we were pregnant. I am going to try to take pics every few weeks, or once a month or so to show the belly progress! I will take another photo this weekend. I have been putting off posting this, so here it is in all my chubby glory. I am a little fatter than I wish I was when I got pregnant, but oh well, what can you do? My ovaries are the size of lemons here people! I can't wait to see if I look any more pregnant in my next photo, right now, I just look a little fatter. 

Bedrest

The baby is fine, but I am on bedrest due to subchorionic bleeding. What is that you say? Bleeding from the uterus basically - broken capillaries from the implantation causes some bleeding during the first trimester. It is very common, but annoying. I am on bedrest until it stops which really sucks! I have been on bedrest since last Friday when I called the nurse because I had noticed some spotting last week and it got a little worse on Friday. I have to stay on bedrest until it stops + 3 days. So, it has subsided for the most part today I think, so hopefully only three more days. Guess I am not cooking thanksgiving dinner! Sorry honey. Here is a picture of our sweet little alien baby! I think my belly is pooching out now too - it is hard to tell because I have been a little bloated the last few days. But, I feel better today and notice a distinct little bump below my belly button. I promise some side shots of the belly soon!

Here comes the nausea

Wow, look how much we've grown! Isn't our little blob cute? I had my second ultrasound today and everything is measuring right on. The baby's heartbeat was going strong and nice and even. The baby is now 7.7 mm long - still a tiny little pea. I am so happy! The nausea kicked in last Friday finally. I was so enjoying not feeling sick. But, it is here, ugh. It isn't too bad, but it does seem to come and go all day long. I had too much food at taco bell for lunch today - it sounded so good!! It tasted so good!! But, now I have a tummy ache! My mommy sent me some preggie pops and acupressure bands - the preggie pops actually help, it's amazing. Not much else to report. I took a picture of myself when we found out we were pregnant. I will post it eventually I guess. I may take a new pic this week - but I am definitely not showing or anything yet. I have done some shopping for maternity clothes and baby stuff, but haven't bought anything yet. I am lucky to have friends give me a lot of clothes to wear, so I am pretty set for a while! Thanks girls! But, it will be fun to buy some new prego clothes soon. I can't wait to find out the gender - Aaron and Shannon are having a girl! I guess 16 weeks is the earliest they can tell, so I have a while to wait. I guess I won't be doing much shopping or nursery decorating until then. Ooooohhhhh, I can't wait!!!!

I am so tired!

It was hard to get up this morning. Maybe this is for real - I am pregnant! Hee hee. It is just so hard to believe sometimes this early, there isn't much to go on. So far, this is pretty easy. The eating is annoying - I am trying so hard to eat the right things, it is hard to fit in everything you are supposed to eat in one day. 5 fruits, 5 vegetables? Who has the stomach to eat all of that and protein and whole grains and a ton of water!!!?? I am just trying to nibble all day long. By the way, my hcg levels came back at 15,300 on 26 days post retrieval. They are really good numbers, high in fact for just having one baby. They said she must have implanted right away. Or, maybe there is another baby in there and he is just hiding behind his sister! But, I doubt it. How could they not see the other one? I have another u/s and bloodwork scheduled for next Monday. I have already made an appointment with my ob/gyn for the last week of November. By then my fertility doctor will discharge me. They will monitor me weekly until then though I guess. So, everything is fine, going well. How do you like my new little baby widget - isn't it cute?

1 strong little bean

We saw one little baby bean in there today with a strong heartbeat! We are measuring a little ahead of schedule I think. We are sad to say goodbye to our second baby, we had a feeling there might be two in there, but were wrong. But, our one little bean's heart was beating furiously - can't really see it in the pictures of course. We are mourning the loss of one bean and celebrating the wonder of the other! Now we don't have to buy a giganto car, so that is good news. We can't wait to watch her grow week after week and be born. I will update with my hcg numbers later, don't have them yet. We will go in for another ultrasound and bloodwork next week.

5 weeks pregnant

I am officially 5 weeks (and 1 day) pregnant. Still no symptoms really except feeling tired and having to pee more often. I had my second beta hcg test on Monday and it was 1465 - so it more than doubled which is really good. It is weird that it went up exactly 1,000 units, isn't it? My dear husband came home with these roses the day after our official positive test from the doc. Aren't they just gorgeous? He knows me so well, I love this minimalist bouquet, it is so cool. I also received some other surprises from family on that day - the doorbell just kept ringing. My mom and dad sent the beautiful orchid and Aaron and Shannon sent the edible arrangement. That was great, it helped me up my fruit intake (and chocolate too). Thanks everyone for recognizing what a true miracle this is. I love you! We have another blood hcg test and our first OB ultrasound on monday so stay tuned!!

I'm pregnant!!! YIPPEEEE!!!!

This picture just says it all, doesn't it? This was from Wednesday. Yea, that's right, I've been holding out on you. I waited to get confirmation from a blood hcg test and I got that today. It is officially 465 - don't really know the measurement of that, just that that is really fricking good!!! It is in the range of twins actually, YIKES!!! I go back Monday for another blood test and they look for the hcg levels to double by then. So, please keep praying for us as we are not in the clear just yet. I will be having an ultrasound in another week or so to take a look. YEA!!! We are just so happy, ecstatic, in shock, thrilled, relieved, excited, blessed... Thanks for all of your prayers and support. I am not having any symptoms at all of pregnancy, it is so hard to believe it is real. I can't wait to feel nauseous and have sore boobs and have a huge belly, let me tell you. This is the best thing EVER!!!!!!!

Only 2 left...

The remaining three sweet little embryo's didn't make it. :-( Only one made it to the blastocyst stage, but it wasn't good enough quality to freeze. I am mad I didn't put more back in - now they have gone to waste... We have so much riding on this one chance at IVF, I'm not sure we will be able to do it again...

Embryo transfer

We had 2 beautiful embryos transferred yesterday. One was an 8 cell grade "A" and the other was a compacted morula. A morula is the next stage in the embryo's development so this is very good. A grade A is also the best grade an embryo can get. So, two beautiful little babies floating around in there. The doc said the transfer went "perfectly", so that is good news. I had to practically stand on my head for a half hour after the transfer with a full bladder. It wasn't much fun. My back was starting to cramp up and I had to pee SO BAD. I just listened to my ipod and held Rudy's hand and made it through.

I have been on bedrest since then - my back hurts from laying on it. I've watched a lot of tv and movies, it is getting kind of boring! Today I am on the couch. My mom left yesterday, I was sad to see her go. Thanks mommy for taking care of us for a week! Rudy's mom came by today and brought us food. Rudy's back is out and he can hardly move and hasn't slept in almost a week. He is in pretty bad shape, so it is hard to take care of me. Jackson has been doing a lot to help as well, he has been a trooper. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us - we need it more than ever. I won't know the outcome of this for a couple of weeks.

Please pray for our 5 babies!!

Yep, that's right, we now have 5 official embryos growing up in the lab!!! We retrieved 10 eggs yesterday, 8 of which were mature enough to fertilize. They fertilized them via ICSI - intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection. I know, very scientific sounding isn't it? Basically, the embryologist picks up one sperm and actually injects it into the egg. They must have very very very very very strong microscopes! So, we ended up with 5 fertilized embryos. Not as many as I wanted, but enough to get us pregnant - it only takes 1 (or 2)! I pray that they all live until they are either implanted or frozen. I am scheduled for a day 3 transfer - this Saturday morning. We will put back 2 or 3, depending on their quality. I pray we can freeze the rest in case we have to do this again - we can skip the retrieval part and just thaw them out - pretty high tech, eh?

Please just pray that this works the first time and we never have to do this again.

So, yes, Rudy made it home from Salt Lake City on Tuesday afternoon, although his back is really bad, the poor thing. The retrieval was pretty easy - They gave me some versed - a great valium like drug - that knocked me right out. There was probably something else in there too, I don't know. It was great - I woke up and it was all done. I came home and slept for 3 more hours - the best nap ever! I was sore, and still am on both sides, but nothing major.

On another note - I can't remember if I mentioned this, but I was having some major anxiety for the last week. I had tightness in my stomach and throat - it was so awful, I could barely make it go away. I tried deep breathing, meditation, yoga - it helped, but it always came back. I just found out that lupron - one of the drugs I was taking causes anxiety. How NICE! It is finally gone now though, what a relief. I feel for anyone who suffers from anxiety, it is terrible, like you always have this feeling of doom and dread in the pit of your stomach. I hope the stress didn't adversely affect me too much...
Peace and love, Katrina

My soap opera life

I love myself a good soap opera, but living it isn't much fun. I am trying so hard to be positive, but I am getting hit from all angles!! Give me a break! Let me start with the scientific aspects of this journey. Had my ultrasound and bloodwork yesterday. Showed up and the u/s tech had called in sick, so had to come back at noon, which meant I couldn't show up for work yesterday. Nick (my boss/principal consultant/coworker) is very understanding, but I know it is annoying to have an employee with all kinds of personal problems. Ugh. Anyway - when I went back in the u/s tech was kind of snippy with me and mom, which pissed me off because that was the first time my mom was coming to an appointment with me. Everything little thing adds up and causes me undue stress, ya know? Anyway - she saw 14 follicles with the following range of sizes: 2@21mm, 2@19mm, and then some at 17, 16, 15, 14, 12 mm. My estrogen was 1691 - they figure about 200 - 300 units of estrogen per mature egg/follicle. So, between 5 and 8 were mature yesterday I guess. I took the HCG trigger shot to trigger ovulation last night at 9pm and my egg retrieval is scheduled for 8:30AM on Wednesday, October 10th!!!!! YAY!! More follies will have time to mature between now and then - so hopefully there will be more than 8 eggs.

Please pray for lots of mature eggs (over 10) tomorrow and that all of them fertilize.

So, now on to the stressful yucky stuff - it is all about my poor husband. Rudy is still in Salt Lake City on his golf trip. He is supposed to fly in tonight at 9pm on the last flight outta there and we need to be at the doc's office for our retrieval at 7:30am tomorrow. See any problems with this? Well, I do. I made him change his flight to a morning flight today because I just couldn't deal with the chance that something would happen to his flight and he wouldn't get home in time. He needs to be there in the morning to contribute his half of the equation if you catch my drift. He wasn't too happy with cutting his golf trip short and not finishing the tournament which he is winning. But, I put my foot down - too much is at stake, so I had to be a hardass. I hope he forgives me. Anyway, he called me last night and was sick (vomiting) after a crappy lunch, so maybe has food poisoning. Also, his sciatica has returned and he is in serious back and leg pain. Poor baby - I hope he can stand to sit on the plane for 3.5 hours today. I just need him to come home and rest up today for the big day tomorrow. Pray for Rudy to feel better would ya? Thanks.

Well, I feel better now that I have dumped all this onto the rest of you. This blog writing stuff is pretty cathartic. I hope you can find the time to say a prayer or think of us tomorrow morning. If not, send us some money. Just kidding! We need all the positive vibes/prayers/help we can get.

The size of lemons

Sorry I have been lax on the updates. I am on day 9 of the stimulation medicine. I had an ultrasound and bloodwork on Sat and here are the results:

11 follicles about the size of 14mm, and 1 at 18mm. Estradiol at 300 something and my lining is 7.6.
This is progressing more slowly than I expected - all follies need to be over 18mm to trigger the ovulation and do the retrieval. So - another day or two I think. I have another ultrasound today at noon so will update you again later today.

I estimate that my ovaries are the size of lemons - and they are sore lemons! There really isn't that much room in there ya know. I am really tired and sore in the afternoon - I need to take it easy now. I have been doing yoga and meditation to relax - it is helping somewhat. I am just feeling a little anxious from time to time.

OH I FORGOT TO MENTION!! Rudy's 2nd sperm analysis came back above normal!! WHOOPEE!!!!! I need to write a letter to the insurance bastards for the appeal - I think we have a really good chance of winning the appeal, but don't want to get my hopes up too high.

Please pray for lots of healthy eggs for us. The retrieval will most likely be on Thursday ( just a guesstimate). I hope I can go to the work for the next few days and not feel like crap.