15 August 2007

IVF Plans

Well, I don't know much yet as to how this is going to work other than it should happen in September sometime. Yippee!! I am starting birth control pills today for three weeks (at least). During this time Rudy and I have to repeat some of the tests we have done - some tests have to be repeated every year and others every few months. I have it all scheduled for the last week of August. Hopefully all the results will come back normal the following week and we can get started. We've been seeing the fertility doctor for almost a year now (it will be a year in November). We just passed our 2 year anniversary of trying to conceive though (Sunday). I didn't realize it until the next day, but I was very depressed on Sunday. Actually since we got our negative beta results last Thursday, Rudy and I have been pretty low. I will spare you the knowledge of the bottom of our despair, but it's pretty darn low. Despite everything that has happened, we are coping somehow. It feels good to be planning our next steps and know a little about what is going to happen.

We are meeting with Dr. Miller next Monday just to go over what we've done and get some questions answered. Also to find out more about IVF and his thoughts about the success rates. We probably won't know the entire protocol until we meet with the nurse for another injection teach. Yes, IVF will involve lots of injectible medications, more than we have done before. But, we are old pros at it now, so shouldn't be a problem. I think we may have one or two injections to do a day in addition to the twice daily injections we were doing. Rudy is an expert nurse, I am so blessed to have a husband willing to do all of this for me so I don't have to inject myself.

We are very excited to move on to this step as the success rates are much higher and they can also find out a little more about why this isn't working. For example, maybe my eggs just aren't as young as me. Hopefully not and nothing we've done has indicated that, but who knows. IVF also unfortunately means that the process of retrieving the eggs and putting them back in involves a surgical procedure (I am drugged thank goodness). But, it also means missing some work and possibly bedrest after the procedures (i'm good with that!). We are very lucky that our insurance pays for IVF and for everything else we've been doing. It has still been a dent in our wallet paying 10% co-insurance. But, it is nothing compared to the women I have met that pay for it ALL out of pocket. That really is unfair and must really add a new dimension to the stress of it not working.

Speaking of failure. I can't imagine how devastated we will feel if IVF fails. Especially since this seems to be the final option for us to have biological children. But, I can't think about that yet. I just can't come to that acceptance in my mind ahead of time that this won't work. It HAS to work. It just has to. Please pray for us.

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