22 April 2009

I have a confession to make

I am so tired and hungry! I am nauseous too, but not as much as I was. I am so bloated and gassy (I know, TMI). I have gained like 6 pounds and feel like a fat cow. That's right, I am pregnant. GASP, SHOCK, AWE!!! This has come as a total shock to us given that we thought we were infertile. How did this happen! I don't know, but it did and we are ECSTATIC!! I mean, I have been thinking about having another baby since Maddox was born. As soon as he came out, I knew I wanted another. I thought I would be satisfied with just one, but not really. But, I never thought this would happen. I hoped and prayed and fantasized something like this would happen. Lots of people told me this could happen, but I though "No way. It won't happen to me". But it did, so miracles DO happen! I am still in shock about it and I am almost 12 weeks pregnant. I have been waiting to tell people because 1. I wasn't sure it was going to last and 2. I just started at a new client and didn't want people at work to find out right away. I still haven't told my boss, so keep this under wraps for a few more days please (don't say anything on facebook just yet)!!! Anyway, so like 7 weeks ago or so, I thought, "gee, I think it's been awhile since I had my period. That's kind of weird". But, I didn't really think it was that weird because I had only had 2 or 3 periods anyway since they started back up in December and they were a little irregular, or so I thought. So, I mentioned it to my hubby a couple times and he gave me "that look". He wasn't so keen on having another. He definitely didn't want to go through all the fertility treatments again. I didn't really want to either, but was seriously considering it and trying to figure out how to talk him into it. Anyway, so I started to think, maybe, just maybe, I am pregnant! But, I have to say I doubted it A LOT and kept putting it out of my mind. Then one day, I thought, what the hell, I'll take a test. So, I started rummaging around in my bathroom looking for one lonely prego test, I must have one somewhere! I thought, this is so ridiculous I can't go buy a test, no way. But, I came up empty handed. Well, I did have a bunch of ovulation tests. Then, I remembered that you can use them as pregnancy tests! Well, sort of.  Pregnancy tests test for HCG and ovulation tests test for LH, but they are one molecule apart in chemical makeup. So, if you have HCG in your system, your ovulation test would come up positive. But, it could also mean you are about to ovulate. I took it anyway and it was dark. I had never seen a ovulation test come up that dark when I was ovulating, so I was very suspicious. So, I told my hubby and he said "let's go to walgreens and find out once and for all!!". So we did. The test came up positive, of course, in like 3 seconds. Rudy kept looking at it and was like "give me the instructions - show me what it is supposed to look like if positive or negative". I said "DUH! It is a plus sign, that means positive!!" "OH MY GOD!!!!!" Wow, we were we shocked, flabbergasted, stunned, all that. Rudy said the right thing of course and said he was happy about it. He better be or I would have been devastated!!!

So, that's my confession. I am feeling pretty good, although I have to say I am a thousand times more tired this time than I was last time and really, really hungry. The nausea kicked in earlier this time and lasted a little longer, but it's pretty much gone now. We've seen the little sprinkle on ultrasound twice and saw the heartbeat. Everything is going fine! YAY!!!! We are SO HAPPY! I have to admit, I feel guilty though because it happened so easily. It is amazing how we didn't really try at all and didn't do much of anything and bam, we are pregnant. Especially since last time we tried and tried and tried and I had surgery and many, many shots and meds and side effects and procedures. It really is unfair to be infertile. Getting to experience it now how God intended is so easy, it makes me mad! But, I am grateful and believe me, I know how lucky I am. The OB/GYN said sometimes being pregnant once can fix things. Amazing. Absolutely wonderful. Thank you God!


Jennifer said...

HOLY COW!!! This is fantastic, wonderful, beautiful news!!! I am so happy for you, and so happy you didn't have to go thru all those pokes/tests to get there again!!! You must've been in complete shock...I'm sure the looks on you and your husband's faces were priceless when that test came back positive ; )

Good luck...now that you're going into the 2nd trimester, I hope you'll be feeling better and get some more energy (I remember very vividly how tiring the 1st tri can be)!

Peter & Mary Berlin said...

I can't wait to meet your second little miracle. It is so hard waiting, but I love the anticipation. Love Mamie XXOO